tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-40554345859761769462024-02-18T13:38:06.517-05:00Paper HangoverHolly Hillhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07901177289663629475noreply@blogger.comBlogger199125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4055434585976176946.post-59372542379921406992012-04-28T08:33:00.035-04:002012-05-01T23:48:08.957-04:00<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #6fa8dc;">Don't have a topic to blog about on Fridays? Join us for Paper Hangover's </span><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #6fa8dc;">Friday Fives</span></b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #6fa8dc;">. </span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #6fa8dc;">This week: </span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #38761d; font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace; font-size: large;"><b><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #e06666;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #b4a7d6;">What are your </span></span></span></b></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #38761d; font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"><span style="font-size: large;"><b><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #ea9999;">FIVE </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #e06666;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #b4a7d6;">favorite Christmas/holidays stories? </span></span></span></b></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #6fa8dc;">Don't forget to leave us your link on Friday so we can visit your blog!</span></span>Unknownnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4055434585976176946.post-11384767642442591042012-03-12T06:00:00.001-04:002012-03-12T06:00:12.949-04:00Cover Reveal Kate Evangelista's TASTEWe have been on a blogging hiatus but I popped back in to reveal a new book...<br />
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TASTE by Kate Evangelista<br />
<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: left; margin-right: 1em; text-align: left;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://photo.goodreads.com/books/1329199543l/13484226.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="400" src="http://photo.goodreads.com/books/1329199543l/13484226.jpg" width="265" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Source: Goodreads.com</td></tr>
</tbody></table><br />
<span id="freeText9686879436678430987">At Barinkoff Academy, there's only one rule: no students on campus after curfew. Phoenix McKay soon finds out why when she is left behind at sunset. A group calling themselves night students threaten to taste her flesh until she is saved by a mysterious, alluring boy. With his pale skin, dark eyes, and mesmerizing voice, Demitri is both irresistible and impenetrable. He warns her to stay away from his dangerous world of flesh eaters. Unfortunately, the gorgeous and playful Luka has other plans. <br />
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When Phoenix is caught between her physical and her emotional attraction, she becomes the keeper of a deadly secret that will rock the foundations of an ancient civilization living beneath Barinkoff Academy. Phoenix doesn’t realize until it is too late that the closer she gets to both Demitri and Luka the more she is plunging them all into a centuries old feud.</span><br />
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<span id="freeText9686879436678430987">Add TASTE to your <a href="http://www.goodreads.com/book/show/13484226-taste">To Be Read List.</a> </span>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14556806194192653074noreply@blogger.com12tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4055434585976176946.post-78737982073317678602012-02-03T10:33:00.001-05:002012-02-03T10:34:48.832-05:00Friday Fives (40): I Wish I Had<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEix4fmOBWjlOxoqex8R24-Uj8GqLohjFqX6bwYLD5mLHYi1dXs03LogMnwDoZQHFcyOsi32YvYesZqYh_DxoOqT9YmTGXa3WNoes7V6uhBg0XzOpCV3tUjSK5hTiSYTGwvqarxrzy7Wh3Ok/s1600/ff40.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left:1em; margin-right:1em"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEix4fmOBWjlOxoqex8R24-Uj8GqLohjFqX6bwYLD5mLHYi1dXs03LogMnwDoZQHFcyOsi32YvYesZqYh_DxoOqT9YmTGXa3WNoes7V6uhBg0XzOpCV3tUjSK5hTiSYTGwvqarxrzy7Wh3Ok/s1600/ff40.png" /></a></div><br />
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<br />
Welcome to our weekly Friday Fives!<br />
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<b><span style="color: green;">What are the</span> <span style="color: red;">FIVE</span> <span style="color: green;"> novels you wish you had written?</span></b><br />
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Post about it on your blog and then leave your link (and blog name) below so everyone can visit your blog today!<br />
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<script type="text/javascript" src="http://www.blenza.com/linkies/autolink.php?owner=eshin&postid=03Feb2012"></script><br />
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Next week: <b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: cyan;">Who are your </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #e69138;">FIVE </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: cyan;"> favorite literary sidekicks?</span></b>Emy Shinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06841308748068494839noreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4055434585976176946.post-50367870794881323322012-01-30T14:23:00.001-05:002012-01-30T14:26:24.347-05:00Where are they now? A Look back at our Author Interview Series...Paper Hangover has been going strong for a while now, with its followers growing weekly, I thought we should recap our Author Interview Series with some updates on what they are up to now.<br />
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We kicked off Paper Hangover with YA Highway Blogger, Travel Writer and Debut Author Kirsten Hubbard. LIKE MANDARIN was released March 8th, 2011, and Kirsten had some amazing reviews, a great marketing plan, and an amazing book. LIKE MANDARIN is followed by WANDERLOVE releasing March 13th, 2012.<br />
<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: left; margin-right: 1em; text-align: left;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://ecx.images-amazon.com/images/I/412aY3ThQKL.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="200" src="http://ecx.images-amazon.com/images/I/412aY3ThQKL.jpg" width="131" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Source: Goodreads.com</td></tr>
</tbody></table><span id="freeTextContainer432904166727912829">It all begins with a stupid question: <br />
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<b>Are you a Global Vagabond?</b> <br />
</span><br />
<span id="freeText6327415385964895008">No, but 18-year-old Bria Sandoval wants to be. In a quest for independence, her neglected art, and no-strings-attached hookups, she signs up for a guided tour of Central America—the wrong one. Middle-aged tourists with fanny packs are hardly the key to self-rediscovery. When Bria meets Rowan, devoted backpacker and dive instructor, and his outspokenly humanitarian sister Starling, she seizes the chance to ditch her group and join them off the beaten path. <br />
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Bria's a good girl trying to go bad. Rowan's a bad boy trying to stay good. As they travel across a panorama of Mayan villages, remote Belizean islands, and hostels plagued with jungle beasties, they discover what they've got in common: both seek to leave behind the old versions of themselves. And the secret to escaping the past, Rowan’s found, is to keep moving forward. <br />
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But Bria comes to realize she can't run forever, no matter what Rowan says. If she ever wants the courage to fall for someone worthwhile, she has to start looking back. </span><br />
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<span id="freeText6327415385964895008">Add <a href="http://www.goodreads.com/book/show/9807262-wanderlove">Wanderlove</a> to your To Be Read List today! </span><br />
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<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: right; margin-left: 1em; text-align: right;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://photo.goodreads.com/books/1308927299l/11827459.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="200" src="http://photo.goodreads.com/books/1308927299l/11827459.jpg" width="150" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Source: Goodreads</td></tr>
</tbody></table><span id="freeText6327415385964895008">Last time we caught up with C.Lee McKenzie her YA Novel Princess of Las Pulgas was on the horizon. After a successful book release Ms McKenzie is back with a talented group of authors in a anthology titled, THE FIRST TIME. </span><br />
<div class="readable stacked" id="description" style="right: 0;"><span id="freeTextContainer15006023492131217755">25 YA authors writing about “Firsts”... first kisses, first loves, first zombie slayings, first realizations.</span></div><div class="readable stacked" id="description" style="right: 0pt;"></div><div class="readable stacked" id="description" style="right: 0pt;"><span id="freeTextContainer15006023492131217755"><a href="http://www.goodreads.com/book/photo/11827459-the-first-time">THE FIRST TIME</a> is edited by New York Times Best Selling Author Jessica Verday, and includes short stories from Cyn Balog, Jackson Pierce, Carrie Ryan and many more. </span><br />
<br />
<br />
</div><div class="readable stacked" id="description" style="right: 0pt;"></div><div class="readable stacked" id="description" style="right: 0pt;"></div><div class="readable stacked" id="description" style="right: 0pt;"><span id="freeTextContainer15006023492131217755">Kelly Hashway filled out our next author interview, her Debut Picture Book MAY THE BEST DOG WIN was released April 2011. It went on to be repackaged into a <a href="http://www.amazon.com/May-Best-Dog-Coloring-Book/dp/0615537855">Coloring Book</a>.</span><br />
<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: left; margin-right: 1em; text-align: left;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://photo.goodreads.com/books/1327736039l/13326795.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="200" src="http://photo.goodreads.com/books/1327736039l/13326795.jpg" width="133" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Source: Goodreads</td></tr>
</tbody></table><br />
<span id="freeTextContainer15006023492131217755">Kelly has some other news she recently signed a deal to publish her YA Novel <a href="http://www.goodreads.com/book/show/13326795-touch-of-death">TOUCH OF DEATH</a> with Spencer Hill Press, releasing January 13th, 2013.</span><br />
<span id="freeText11786839507052071977">Jodi Marshall isn’t sure how she went from normal teenager to walking disaster. One minute she’s in her junior year of high school, spending time with her amazing boyfriend and her best friend. The next she’s being stalked by some guy no one seems to know. <br />
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After the stranger, Alex, reveals himself, Jodi learns he’s not a normal teenager and neither is she. With a kiss that kills and a touch that brings the dead back to life, Jodi discovers she’s part of a branch of necromancers born under the 13th sign of the zodiac, Ophiuchus. A branch of necromancers that are descendents of Medusa. A branch of necromancers with poisoned blood writhing in their veins. <br />
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Jodi’s deadly to the living and even more deadly to the deceased. She has to leave her old, normal life behind before she hurts the people she loves. As if that isn’t difficult enough, Jodi discovers she’s the chosen one who has to save the rest of her kind from perishing at the hands of Hades. If she can’t figure out how to control her power, history will repeat itself, and her race will become extinct.</span><br />
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<span id="freeText11786839507052071977">All three books sound exciting, and the covers are amazing. Congratulations to Kirsten, C.Lee and Kelly on all their hard work! </span> </div><div class="uitext stacked darkGreyText" id="details"><br />
</div>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14556806194192653074noreply@blogger.com14tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4055434585976176946.post-17725769146877439332012-01-27T07:10:00.001-05:002012-01-27T07:10:09.732-05:00Friday Fives (39): Contemporary YAs<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgSvj_BV5dyP3bnCLDN5p3RQRZ-_CtMXskRM8ghhp5Qy1xNX3NuaXnMHb8c5sV6gj2VfbOJaapACT1er-QHrnnef9PVOVPTQIT-uQw4QYb78RBj45cs1nB40CN5kMd_badBTIw0LRqHWP6f/s1600/ff39.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left:1em; margin-right:1em"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgSvj_BV5dyP3bnCLDN5p3RQRZ-_CtMXskRM8ghhp5Qy1xNX3NuaXnMHb8c5sV6gj2VfbOJaapACT1er-QHrnnef9PVOVPTQIT-uQw4QYb78RBj45cs1nB40CN5kMd_badBTIw0LRqHWP6f/s1600/ff39.png" /></a></div><br />
<br />
<br />
Welcome to our weekly Friday Fives!<br />
<br />
<b><span style="color: green;">What are your</span> <span style="color: red;">FIVE</span> <span style="color: green;"> favorite contemporary YA novels?</span></b><br />
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Post about it on your blog and then leave your link (and blog name) below so everyone can visit your blog today!<br />
<br />
<script type="text/javascript" src="http://www.blenza.com/linkies/autolink.php?owner=eshin&postid=27Jan2012"></script><br />
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<br />
<br />
Next week: <b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: cyan;">What are the </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #e69138;">FIVE </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: cyan;"> novels you wish you had written?</span></b>Emy Shinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06841308748068494839noreply@blogger.com9tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4055434585976176946.post-68987391764338287252012-01-20T07:15:00.002-05:002012-01-20T07:15:33.613-05:00Friday Fives (38): Books to Look For<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEglB9DdzxReKdQVzmbzY70alQ0u2JcHT3ofGrmUj9kD24nMqMCHYcLIzot6TanL-TFtwm2pd1RZpsoPGzxHQ7L5GSJ66D6PidH31fewzW_PFMnBol_nzAzepgDWS3N8j2IESEGWsWmqM7Tm/s1600/ff38.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left:1em; margin-right:1em"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEglB9DdzxReKdQVzmbzY70alQ0u2JcHT3ofGrmUj9kD24nMqMCHYcLIzot6TanL-TFtwm2pd1RZpsoPGzxHQ7L5GSJ66D6PidH31fewzW_PFMnBol_nzAzepgDWS3N8j2IESEGWsWmqM7Tm/s1600/ff38.png" /></a></div><br />
<br />
Welcome to our weekly Friday Fives!<br />
<br />
<b><span style="color: green;">What are the</span> <span style="color: red;">FIVE</span> <span style="color: green;"> books you're looking forward to in 2012?</span></b><br />
<br />
Post about it on your blog and then leave your link (and blog name) below so everyone can visit your blog today!<br />
<br />
<script type="text/javascript" src="http://www.blenza.com/linkies/autolink.php?owner=eshin&postid=20Jan2012"></script><br />
<br />Emy Shinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06841308748068494839noreply@blogger.com10tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4055434585976176946.post-84883110191722058562012-01-18T10:21:00.000-05:002012-01-18T10:21:13.764-05:00If You Liked...<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-size: 13pt; line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Who’s up for a little historical fiction? <o:p></o:p></span></span></div><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-size: 13pt; line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">The bar is set high for publishable manuscripts in this genre. So you can almost be sure that when you pick up a historical novel it will be filled with a rich landscape and details galore. In this sense, historical fiction can rival the world building in the most high fantasy books. Decide for yourself if today’s selections are worthy of their place on the historical shelf.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-size: 16pt; line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">If you liked…<o:p></o:p></span></span></div><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-size: 16pt; line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">The queen's own fool: a novel of Mary Queen of Scots by Jane Yolen<o:p></o:p></span></span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh18z03tdkM0HX7RYIsNxfOmuIuGBCtfRqr3__xxhGs90JsjdxBuy84XdkY7Hpdqo8QJn9Mes7qYMWRnrRDWnBG1cOxLm_gtebNNjEpSW0HAfaYJhmUrRmXev8N6GXaz69fwRp_TzowQHY/s1600/queens+own+fool.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh18z03tdkM0HX7RYIsNxfOmuIuGBCtfRqr3__xxhGs90JsjdxBuy84XdkY7Hpdqo8QJn9Mes7qYMWRnrRDWnBG1cOxLm_gtebNNjEpSW0HAfaYJhmUrRmXev8N6GXaz69fwRp_TzowQHY/s200/queens+own+fool.jpg" width="130" /></a></div><span style="font-size: 13pt; line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Called La Jardiniere, a resourceful and clever jester to the queen's court, Nicola was a most unlikely person to end up "fool" and friend to Mary, Queen of Scots. But Nicola isn't an ordinary comedian clowning before the court; her sharp tongue is rare amongst the fawning nobles. As fate takes Mary from France to Scotland, and into confrontations with rebellious lords and devious advisors, Nicola remains deep in the queen's inner circle. But when the Scots start to turn on Queen Mary, Nicola struggles to find something-anything-that she, just a fool, can do to save her friend. <o:p></o:p></span></span><br />
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<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-size: 16pt; line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Then you might like…<o:p></o:p></span></span></div><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-size: 16pt; line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">The Lacemaker and the Princess by Kimberly Brubaker Bradley<o:p></o:p></span></span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEikaHgPHiFDh8godc5_pqrXF7QoFh16vok70YI3OjtpP0AtwYR7uxRT2rsMbDLHi_TiHEdLXopXNmxCTNl9tPJ-xbQ_KmnJyStLGpErElhm12oOxBuc9AKQmeJCe-sLiLsyB6ec-pQDw5Q/s1600/the+lacemaker+and+the+princess.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEikaHgPHiFDh8godc5_pqrXF7QoFh16vok70YI3OjtpP0AtwYR7uxRT2rsMbDLHi_TiHEdLXopXNmxCTNl9tPJ-xbQ_KmnJyStLGpErElhm12oOxBuc9AKQmeJCe-sLiLsyB6ec-pQDw5Q/s200/the+lacemaker+and+the+princess.jpg" width="132" /></a></div><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-size: 13pt; line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">In 1788, eleven-year-old Isabelle, living with her lacemaker grandmother and mother near the palace of Versailles, becomes close friends with Marie Antoinette's daughter, Princess Therese, and finds their relationship complicated not only by their different social class but by the growing political unrest and resentment of the French people.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div><br />
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</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-size: 16pt; line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Sphinx’s Princess by Esther M. Friesner<o:p></o:p></span></span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEja2LikFgXL0t7Hm68X3-g5Prlhyphenhyphend0aK8MoHGCEG_PWQ-aHsxXXFbRiwqW1zGubdKq9BDFSE1TksKE2BIPMJZMc-qSIHJpOHd2paT8QB3NYOdNTIbRcjjwFBBDqHVmWWlqgdBvJ3uQ_ZqY/s1600/sphinx%2527s+princess.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEja2LikFgXL0t7Hm68X3-g5Prlhyphenhyphend0aK8MoHGCEG_PWQ-aHsxXXFbRiwqW1zGubdKq9BDFSE1TksKE2BIPMJZMc-qSIHJpOHd2paT8QB3NYOdNTIbRcjjwFBBDqHVmWWlqgdBvJ3uQ_ZqY/s200/sphinx%2527s+princess.jpg" width="131" /></a></div><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-size: 13pt; line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Although she is a dutiful daughter, Nefertiti's dancing abilities, remarkable beauty, and intelligence garner attention near and far, so much so that her family is summoned to the Egyptian royal court, where Nefertiti becomes a pawn in the power play of her scheming aunt, Queen Tiye.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div><br />
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</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-size: 15pt; line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Nine days a queen: the short life and reign of Lady Jane Grey by Ann Rinaldi<o:p></o:p></span></span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiZ8_NDEQiRCuW752qZZkgH8q9hE-feQlGtvTrAmIq3C1gRKgmbCMiF7DglCs1d09k4fNBmaujBUL86R9VhuXSSorncvDSAlfBqCS2tscvva0tP47_mQ-0iG0HBi2i41oM96vTUy8H45Xw/s1600/nine+days+a+queen.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiZ8_NDEQiRCuW752qZZkgH8q9hE-feQlGtvTrAmIq3C1gRKgmbCMiF7DglCs1d09k4fNBmaujBUL86R9VhuXSSorncvDSAlfBqCS2tscvva0tP47_mQ-0iG0HBi2i41oM96vTUy8H45Xw/s200/nine+days+a+queen.jpg" width="136" /></a></div><span style="font-size: 13pt; line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">I had freckles. </span></span><br />
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<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-size: 13pt; line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Would my feet even touch the ground if I sat on the throne?<o:p></o:p></span></span></div><span style="font-size: 13pt; line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Lady Jane Grey, who at sixteen was Queen of England for nine days before being executed, recounts her life story from the age of nine.<o:p></o:p></span></span>Michelle Julianhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16695109813853570206noreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4055434585976176946.post-56262103183362471202012-01-17T09:41:00.000-05:002012-01-17T09:41:34.934-05:00A Contest You Don't Want to Miss!Over on <a href="http://hddodson.com/books/surprises-are-fun-so-are-contests/">my blog</a>, I'm hosting a contest for a chance to win a spot on the ARC Tour for my wonderful friend Susan Dennard's debut novel, SOMETHING STRANGE AND DEADLY! <br />
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<blockquote><a href="http://photo.goodreads.com/books/1320688710l/9859436.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img alt="Something Strange and Deadly" border="0" height="320" src="http://photo.goodreads.com/books/1320688710l/9859436.jpg" width="211" /></a>There’s something strange and deadly loose in Philadelphia…<br />
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Eleanor Fitt has a lot to worry about. Her brother has gone missing, her family has fallen on hard times, and her mother is determined to marry her off to any rich young man who walks by. But this is nothing compared to what she’s just read in the newspaper—<br />
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The Dead are rising in Philadelphia.<br />
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And then, in a frightening attack, a zombie delivers a letter to Eleanor…from her brother.<br />
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Whoever is controlling the Dead army has taken her brother as well. If Eleanor is going to find him, she’ll have to venture into the lab of the notorious Spirit-Hunters, who protect the city from supernatural forces. But as Eleanor spends more time with the Spirit-Hunters, including their maddeningly stubborn yet handsome inventor, Daniel, the situation becomes dire. And now, not only is her reputation on the line, but her very life may hang in the balance. </blockquote><br />
<a href="https://mail.google.com/mail/u/0/?ui=2&ik=0bc84703e5&view=att&th=134d3d42d071621d&attid=0.1&disp=inline&zw" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img alt="https://mail.google.com/mail/u/0/?ui=2&ik=0bc84703e5&view=att&th=134d3d42d071621d&attid=0.1&disp=inline&zw" border="0" height="181" src="https://mail.google.com/mail/u/0/?ui=2&ik=0bc84703e5&view=att&th=134d3d42d071621d&attid=0.1&disp=inline&zw" width="200" /></a><i>Susan is a reader, writer, lover of animals, and eater of cookies. She used to be a marine biologist, but now she writes novels. And not novels about fish either, but novels about kick-butt heroines and swoon-worthy rogues (she<em style="background-color: transparent; border-width: 0px; font-size: 14px; font-style: italic; margin: 0px; outline-width: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> really</em> likes swoon-worthy rogues). She lives in Germany with her French husband and Irish setter, and you can learn more about her crazy thoughts and crippling cookie-addiction on <a href="http://twitter.com/stdennard/" rel="nofollow" style="background-color: transparent; border-width: 0px; color: #2772b3; font-size: 14px; margin: 0px; outline-width: 0px; padding: 0px; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;" target="_blank">twitter</a>, <a href="http://www.facebook.com/SusanDennardAuthor" style="background-color: transparent; border-width: 0px; color: #2772b3; font-size: 14px; margin: 0px; outline-width: 0px; padding: 0px; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;" target="_blank">facebook</a>, or <a href="http://www.goodreads.com/author/show/4499623.Susan_Dennard" style="background-color: transparent; border-width: 0px; color: #2772b3; font-size: 14px; margin: 0px; outline-width: 0px; padding: 0px; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;" target="_blank">Goodreads</a>. Her debut, <em style="background-color: transparent; border-width: 0px; font-size: 14px; font-style: italic; margin: 0px; outline-width: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><a href="http://somethingstrangeanddeadly.susandennard.com/" style="background-color: transparent; border-width: 0px; color: #2772b3; font-size: 14px; margin: 0px; outline-width: 0px; padding: 0px; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;" target="_blank">Something Strange and Deadly</a></em>, will be available from HarperCollins in July of 2012, and you will never believe how <em style="background-color: transparent; border-width: 0px; font-size: 14px; font-style: italic; margin: 0px; outline-width: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">happy </em>this makes her!</i> <br />
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How does an ARC Tour work? Easy. I'm choosing FIVE winners, lining them up, and we ship the book from one person to the next. So, it’s shipped to you, you ship it to the next in line, etc. After you read it, all I ask is that you take a minute to tell someone about it. Blog it, Tweet it, put it on your Goodreads list, or just exclaim about it to everyone who comes within a three-foot-radius of you. That’s what I do! ;) (The only people seeing your address will be me and the person shipping the book to you, so it won’t be broadcast into the stratosphere.)<br />
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So, you want a chance to enter to win?<a href="http://hddodson.com/books/surprises-are-fun-so-are-contests/"> Head over to my blog</a>!Holly Hillhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07901177289663629475noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4055434585976176946.post-8238328411707056372012-01-13T05:00:00.000-05:002012-01-13T05:00:01.765-05:00Friday Fives (37): Writing PlacesDue to personal reasons, I couldn't get last week's Friday Fives up. I really apologize for that!<br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgH_JjJNcLrtO-cJ2cv4ItR-gQVRQlSdQyLxHo3pgNPXhStmRK_3yOruWKEwgsmwpEZ6j77-MBUXX02Nim9uifbTOGH_hlNVj-ZMNuGpKTHDomYM7F0TKsAXqkLl4930_rS4eH03jha-nq5/s1600/ff37.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left:1em; margin-right:1em"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgH_JjJNcLrtO-cJ2cv4ItR-gQVRQlSdQyLxHo3pgNPXhStmRK_3yOruWKEwgsmwpEZ6j77-MBUXX02Nim9uifbTOGH_hlNVj-ZMNuGpKTHDomYM7F0TKsAXqkLl4930_rS4eH03jha-nq5/s1600/ff37.png" /></a></div><br />
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Welcome to our weekly Friday Fives!<br />
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<b><span style="color: green;">What are your</span> <span style="color: red;">FIVE</span> <span style="color: green;"> favorite writing places?</span></b><br />
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Post about it on your blog and then leave your link (and blog name) below so everyone can visit your blog today!<br />
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<script type="text/javascript" src="http://www.blenza.com/linkies/autolink.php?owner=eshin&postid=12Jan2012"></script><br />
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Next week: <b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: cyan;">What are the </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #e69138;">FIVE </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: cyan;"> novels you're looking forward to in 2012?</span></b> :)Emy Shinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06841308748068494839noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4055434585976176946.post-34358328166799288862012-01-04T10:53:00.000-05:002012-01-04T10:53:46.832-05:00If You Liked...<span style="font-size: 13pt; line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">This week’s selections are in a genre I am unfamiliar with. I hope to use this list as a starting point in familiarizing myself with this popular theme, as you might also do. In case you haven’t peaked ahead at the list, I’m talking about zombies. My only experience with the walking dead is the movie Zombieland, which I loved! So I’m excited about this genre and looking forward to getting better acquainted with it. Enjoy!<o:p></o:p></span></span><br />
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<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-size: 16pt; line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">If you liked…<o:p></o:p></span></span></div><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-size: 16pt; line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">The Forest of Hands and Teeth by Carrie Ryan<o:p></o:p></span></span></div><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEie0r9VwEPZroJ7SlcyfBbBEQsKWHMecnR8JD2r-7GtgMH4w0EiM4QkXKrB71bO_XNRbfEwW5A2dxL3ImKjRqejug4LRf-WJ1j_YnRCC0EmknbTGDFuVpnCmqfAhUnBdWqF8GS3IvMzM_I/s1600/the+forest+of+hands+and+teeth.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEie0r9VwEPZroJ7SlcyfBbBEQsKWHMecnR8JD2r-7GtgMH4w0EiM4QkXKrB71bO_XNRbfEwW5A2dxL3ImKjRqejug4LRf-WJ1j_YnRCC0EmknbTGDFuVpnCmqfAhUnBdWqF8GS3IvMzM_I/s200/the+forest+of+hands+and+teeth.jpg" width="124" /></a><span style="font-size: 13pt; line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">In Mary's world there are simple truths. The Sisterhood always knows best. The Guardians will protect and serve. The Unconsecrated will never relent. And you must always mind the fence that surrounds the village; the fence that protects the village from the Forest of Hands and Teeth. But, slowly, Mary’s truths are failing her. She’s learning things she never wanted to know about the Sisterhood and its secrets, and the Guardians and their power, and about the Unconsecrated and their relentlessness. When the fence is breached and her world is thrown into chaos, she must choose between her village and her future—between the one she loves and the one who loves her. And she must face the truth about the Forest of Hands and Teeth. Could there be life outside a world surrounded in so much death?<o:p></o:p></span></span><br />
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<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-size: 16pt; line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Then you might like…<o:p></o:p></span></span></div><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-size: 16pt; line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Generation Dead by Dan Waters<o:p></o:p></span></span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi_ixzxPhILX6VklRr-f1T9eczdN3fOH6usHgjjDUQsM9I-xPHZSHtoEXFv2oVDoDi2JVIftMMCKGbHLH4jJM11jqrgGwptwqR-XmkA-m_t9H1iwLdFksiSIqEygM_Lkbb9spkNGfIIZOU/s1600/generation+dead.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi_ixzxPhILX6VklRr-f1T9eczdN3fOH6usHgjjDUQsM9I-xPHZSHtoEXFv2oVDoDi2JVIftMMCKGbHLH4jJM11jqrgGwptwqR-XmkA-m_t9H1iwLdFksiSIqEygM_Lkbb9spkNGfIIZOU/s200/generation+dead.jpg" width="132" /></a></div><span style="font-size: 13pt; line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Phoebe Kendall is just your typical Goth girl with a crush. She’s strong and silent…and dead. <o:p></o:p></span></span><br />
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<span style="font-size: 13pt; line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">All over the country, a strange phenomenon is occurring. Some teenagers who die aren't staying dead. But when they come back to life, they are no longer the same. Feared and misunderstood, they are doing their best to blend into a society that doesn’t want them. <o:p></o:p></span></span><br />
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<span style="font-size: 13pt; line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">When Phoebe falls for Tommy Williams, the leader of the dead kids, no one can believe it; not her best friend, Margi, and especially not her neighbor, Adam, the star of the football team. Adam has feelings for Phoebe that run much deeper than just friendship; he would do anything for her. But what if protecting Tommy is the one thing that would make her happy?<o:p></o:p></span></span><br />
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<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-size: 16pt; line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Ashes by Ilsa J. Bick<o:p></o:p></span></span></div><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgfd0hWLFZKxdy5NfRj64MRHt3aFUNgOsng25aull8tQRAIhDodF2XWGq6mr6ycDY-XyyIfZ3MCIgLL_RoPPdRu6xllizh-slTmIBTZqBCC7-u39gXg3WHYlMDaCQrRXmj0gRwFeH-QNf4/s1600/ashes.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgfd0hWLFZKxdy5NfRj64MRHt3aFUNgOsng25aull8tQRAIhDodF2XWGq6mr6ycDY-XyyIfZ3MCIgLL_RoPPdRu6xllizh-slTmIBTZqBCC7-u39gXg3WHYlMDaCQrRXmj0gRwFeH-QNf4/s200/ashes.jpg" width="133" /></a><span style="font-size: 13pt; line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">An electromagnetic pulse flashes across the sky, destroying every electronic device, wiping out every computerized system, and killing billions.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div><br />
<span style="font-size: 13pt; line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Alex hiked into the woods to say good-bye to her dead parents and her personal demons. Now desperate to find out what happened after the pulse crushes her to the ground, Alex meets up with Tom—a young soldier—and Ellie, a girl whose grandfather was killed by the EMP. For this improvised family and the others who are spared, it’s now a question of who can be trusted and who is no longer human.<o:p></o:p></span></span><br />
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<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-size: 16pt; line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">The Enemy by Charles Higson<o:p></o:p></span></span></div><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgdUWnnOSYpY1goBYw8tRLHsTY6Fr4IU3KN6bgHPkhavYxvyoiGWYqMB82X3Kh8rHi1JB8YgDkoppN5IpxiHzJMMsLImxvJ1gvodSU46Ej89l9OFBgU46TYjAcYcO2x7QBzmAd7u6CxuAE/s1600/the+enemy.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgdUWnnOSYpY1goBYw8tRLHsTY6Fr4IU3KN6bgHPkhavYxvyoiGWYqMB82X3Kh8rHi1JB8YgDkoppN5IpxiHzJMMsLImxvJ1gvodSU46Ej89l9OFBgU46TYjAcYcO2x7QBzmAd7u6CxuAE/s200/the+enemy.jpg" width="130" /></a><span style="font-size: 13pt; line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;"></span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: 13pt; line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">They'll chase you. They'll rip you open. They'll feed on you...When the sickness came, every parent, policeman, politician - every adult - fell ill. The lucky ones died. The others are crazed, confused and hungry. Only children under fourteen remain, and they're fighting to survive. Now there are rumours of a safe place to hide. And so a gang of children begin their quest across London, where all through the city - down alleyways, in deserted houses, underground - the grown-ups lie in wait. But can they make it there - alive?<o:p></o:p></span></span><br />
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<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-size: 16pt; line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Zombie Blondes by Brian James<o:p></o:p></span></span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhsrRWm6P3I05uFFcbpdL3l239C-TPfHn-bJThTz97VWUC-8_f5_XPatDutmgy_qXFVyRfe4tdgK-wuhk-Nkdn24GG0dvO6cmm75xSkCBhfpADcQXTGGO2hKdcsKgqfjhbVRIjza9xbozs/s1600/zombie+blondes.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhsrRWm6P3I05uFFcbpdL3l239C-TPfHn-bJThTz97VWUC-8_f5_XPatDutmgy_qXFVyRfe4tdgK-wuhk-Nkdn24GG0dvO6cmm75xSkCBhfpADcQXTGGO2hKdcsKgqfjhbVRIjza9xbozs/s200/zombie+blondes.jpg" width="133" /></a></div><span style="font-size: 13pt; line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">From the moment Hannah Sanders arrived in town, she felt there was something wrong. A lot of houses were for sale, and the town seemed infected by an unearthly quiet. And then, on Hannah’s first day of classes, she ran into a group of cheerleaders—the most popular girls in school.<o:p></o:p></span></span><br />
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<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style="font-size: 13pt; line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">The odd thing was that they were nearly identical in appearance: blonde, beautiful, and deathly pale. But Hannah wants desperately to fit in—regardless of what her friend Lukas is telling her: if she doesn’t watch her back, she’s going to be blonde and popular and dead—just like all the other zombies in this town. . . .<o:p></o:p></span></span></div><br />
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</div>Michelle Julianhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16695109813853570206noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4055434585976176946.post-51718940783489373212011-12-30T10:42:00.004-05:002011-12-30T10:46:29.662-05:00Friday Fives (36): 2011 Favorite Books<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjzwOujG-wkISCZHNuUaXppKgapd7styFaCDBRYc8GdhXNdDxUszOEHHTFpxJJkddsM2KzT20duIoVA24grehmIr6ygVZWYo3PthCXb7GkeulXoXa3P6ksvCSH-jl9hIYP1I0jU6owoOWsJ/s1600/ff36.png"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjzwOujG-wkISCZHNuUaXppKgapd7styFaCDBRYc8GdhXNdDxUszOEHHTFpxJJkddsM2KzT20duIoVA24grehmIr6ygVZWYo3PthCXb7GkeulXoXa3P6ksvCSH-jl9hIYP1I0jU6owoOWsJ/s1600/ff36.png" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5691948049431028226" /></a><br /><br /><br />Welcome to our weekly Friday Fives!<br /><br /><b><span style="color:green;">What are your</span> <span style="color: red;">FIVE</span> <span style="color:green;"> favorite books in 2011?</span></b><br /><br />Post about it on your blog and then leave your link (and blog name) below so everyone can visit your blog today!<br /><br /><script type="text/javascript" src="http://www.blenza.com/linkies/autolink.php?owner=eshin&postid=30Dec2011"></script><br /><br /><br />Next week: <b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: cyan;">What are your </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #e69138;">FIVE </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: cyan;"> New Year's resolutions (writing/reading/or otherwise)?</span></b> :)Emy Shinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06841308748068494839noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4055434585976176946.post-39769959247396159322011-12-23T09:28:00.003-05:002011-12-23T09:32:23.150-05:00Happy Holidays!In lieu of a Friday Fives this week, we at Paper Hangover would like to wish each and every single one of you a <br /><br /><b><center><font size=5><font color=red>Happy</font color> <font color=green>Holidays</font color><font color=red>!</font><font color=green>!</font><font color=red>!</font></font></center></b><br /><br />We hope that you'll have a wonderful time with friends and family.<br /><br />Keep warm and be safe!<br /><br /><font size=1>P.S. For next week's prompt, please check the sidebar. :)</font size>Emy Shinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06841308748068494839noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4055434585976176946.post-37961026089931555832011-12-22T09:32:00.003-05:002011-12-22T16:53:31.304-05:00Happy Holidays!Happy Holidays everyone! Michael and Lauren are taking the holiday off. We will be back after the holiday with more page critiques.<br />
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If you would like to submit a page from your story for us to look at, you may <span class="Apple-style-span">read our guidelines and fill out the </span><a href="http://bit.ly/tqGmvT">Writing 101: Page Critique Form</a><span class="Apple-style-span">. You may also read </span><a href="http://bit.ly/v4F6gA" target="_blank">the previous submission</a><span class="Apple-style-span">.</span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span">Have a great holiday, everyone!
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<span class="Apple-style-span"><br /></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span">And now a holiday themed video:</span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span"><br /></span>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13524233544265478661noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4055434585976176946.post-50215958519480271752011-12-19T07:00:00.022-05:002011-12-19T15:41:42.620-05:00Dawn Rae Miller and LARKSTORM Giveaway!<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://www.amazon.com/Larkstorm-ebook/dp/B006IIJ3YM/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1324284902&sr=8-1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj73hfX8SJ5rM0ebdBC7eZhC3Uh10DCpzZQ7ZoLMhliEQ3kE28nj3dRAex0t6ww8X_uJ5wtvkEdg3k9wutSPRxVxiOBGS2U63klTm8X5GPtusOMHxe8LbfuhwRRHBF8_DyfrMQnTvisoiLN/s320/12679804.jpg" width="212" /></a></div>Today on Paper Hangover we're talking with author Dawn Rae Miller about her debut YA novel <a href="http://www.amazon.com/Larkstorm-ebook/dp/B006IIJ3YM/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1324284902&sr=8-1">LARKSTORM</a>. Here is the summary:<br />
<br />
<blockquote class="tr_bq">In the years following the destructive Long Winter, when half the world’s population perished, the State remains locked in battle against the Sensitives: humans born with extra abilities.<br />
As one of the last descendants of the State’s Founders, seventeen-year-old Lark Greene knows her place: study hard and be a model citizen so she can follow in her family’s footsteps. Her life’s been set since birth, and she’s looking forward to graduating and settling down with Beck, the boy she’s loved longer than she can remember. <br />
However, after Beck is accused of being Sensitive and organizing an attack against Lark, he disappears. Heartbroken and convinced the State made a mistake, Lark sets out to find him and clear his name.<br />
But what she discovers is more dangerous and frightening than Sensitives: she must kill the boy she loves, unless he kills her first.</blockquote><br />
<b>I finished the book in just one night and I have to warn you--once you start reading, you will not want to stop. The plot, the characters, the romance, the twists and turns you won't see coming--it's all <i>that </i>good! </b><br />
<br />
<b><span style="color: #674ea7;">Dawn, how did you come up with LARKSTORM: the story, the world, the incredible characters? </span></b><br />
I came up with the character of Lark, Beck, Callum and Annalise first. Lark and Beck came to me simultaneously, which seems fitting. I couldn’t write one without the other. As for the world, I live in San Francisco near the Presidio where the school is set. 100 years ago, it was nothing but bare hills and I thought it would be interesting if it reverted back to that. But what caused it?<br />
<br />
The main framework of the story came easily once I had the characters, but the details changed constantly – I have 23 drafts of LS! – until I arrived at what is in print.<br />
<br />
<b><span style="color: #674ea7;">Oh wow, 23 drafts! Do you write using an outline? Or do you "pants" it? </span></b><br />
For LS, I pantsed most of it during the first draft stage, but I quickly realized I needed an outline to keep everything straight. I’m now a dedicated synopsis user. It helps me figure out where the story is going and see the big picture.<br />
<br />
<b><span style="color: #674ea7;">Interesting! Writing Lark's story, what did you love the most about her? </span></b><br />
Her determination. She does not give up, no matter what. <br />
<br />
<b><span style="color: #674ea7;">I love that about Lark too. The romance in LARKSTORM is so heartbreakingly beautiful. If you could sum up the book in five words, what would they be?</span></b> Dedication. Friendship. Loyalty. Horror. Loss.<br />
<br />
<b><span style="color: #674ea7;">It's going to be a long wait until Book 2 comes out. Any hints of what we can expect? </span></b><br />
The bulk of the book will take place in San Francisco and center around Lark figuring out her place in the State. And Ryker Newbold – Beck’s friend who was kicked out of their home – comes back in a major way.<br />
<br />
<br />
<b><span style="color: #a64d79; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">When Dawn wasn't looking, I snuck Lark away for a quick interview:</span></b><br />
<b><span style="color: #45818e; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">Lark, can you tell me something interesting about yourself?</span></b><br />
<span style="color: #444444; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">Most people seem to think being a Founders’ descendant is interesting. But I’d rather talk about my talent with agriculture. I’m extremely good at food production and have helped Mr. Trevern create a new strain of hybrid tomatoes.</span><br />
<span style="color: #444444; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><br />
</span><br />
<b><span style="color: #45818e; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">What things are most important to you?</span></b><br />
<span style="color: #444444; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">Doing what’s right. Friendship. And loyalty.</span><br />
<span style="color: #444444; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><br />
</span><br />
<b><span style="color: #45818e; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">What's the one thing you wish you had?</span></b><br />
<span style="color: #444444; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">Besides Beck? Hmmm…privacy. I hate being the center of attention.</span><br />
<span style="color: #444444; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><br />
</span><br />
<b><span style="color: #45818e; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">What's the one thing you regret?</span></b><br />
<span style="color: #444444; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">Not skipping school with Beck when he asked me. If I had…well, things would have been different. I’m sure of it.</span><br />
<br />
<b><br />
</b><br />
<b>Thanks, Dawn, for stopping by! WANT TO WIN AN E-BOOK VERSION OF <a href="http://www.amazon.com/Larkstorm-ebook/dp/B006IIJ3YM/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1324284902&sr=8-1">LARKSTORM </a>AND/OR BOOKMARKS? </b>Click <a href="https://docs.google.com/spreadsheet/viewform?formkey=dGdpYUY1dE9UdUNaUGxQUGF1YTdLWmc6MQ">here </a>and fill out the form to enter. If you follow Paper Hangover, tweet/blog about the contest, or leave a comment you get +1 extra entry (max of 4 extra entries). The contest is open (internationally) until January 5, 2012.<b> </b><br />
<br />
Buy your copy of Larkstorm <a href="http://www.amazon.com/Larkstorm-ebook/dp/B006IIJ3YM/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1324284902&sr=8-1">here</a>.<br />
Website: <a href="http://www.dawnraemiller.com/">www.dawnraemiller.com</a><br />
Twitter: @DawnRaeMillerUnknownnoreply@blogger.com12tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4055434585976176946.post-37355188638997111742011-12-16T07:59:00.003-05:002011-12-16T08:04:33.792-05:00Friday Fives (35): Holidays Wishes<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjOSbAzFlA9wz50iO4SBKZPrh_skmpT7cXAfutcAVjHf5mrJN9fHjc7Uud_rszeVTx2tiFIdX9eZOF6oTC6_2-E-W00mWaRnuytO4FNWzqxRpbCAsh7B1BsYCnDFnMoIa3C1FLAWCI5Ew7N/s1600/ff35.png"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjOSbAzFlA9wz50iO4SBKZPrh_skmpT7cXAfutcAVjHf5mrJN9fHjc7Uud_rszeVTx2tiFIdX9eZOF6oTC6_2-E-W00mWaRnuytO4FNWzqxRpbCAsh7B1BsYCnDFnMoIa3C1FLAWCI5Ew7N/s1600/ff35.png" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5686710893182019794" /></a><br /><br /><br />Welcome to our weekly Friday Fives!<br /><br /><b><span style="color:green;">What are your</span> <span style="color: red;">FIVE</span> <span style="color:green;"> holidays wishes?</span></b><br /><br />Post about it on your blog and then leave your link (and blog name) below so everyone can visit your blog today!<br /><br /><script type="text/javascript" src="http://www.blenza.com/linkies/autolink.php?owner=eshin&postid=16Dec2011"></script><br /><br />Next week: NONE!Emy Shinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06841308748068494839noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4055434585976176946.post-24837296871817141572011-12-15T08:00:00.000-05:002011-12-15T08:00:02.962-05:00<span style="font-size: small;"><span class="tr_bq" id="internal-source-marker_0.5057551499190697" style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;">Every
Thursday the Writing 101 crew, Michael and Lauren, will critique a page
from a novel. If you'd like your page critiqued, please fill out the</span><a href="http://bit.ly/tqGmvT"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"> </span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: #000099; font-family: Arial; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: underline; vertical-align: baseline;">Writing 101: Page Critique Form</span></a><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;">. </span><br /><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"></span><br /><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;">We
have submissions queued up but are still posting just one page a week,
so if you've submitted but haven't seen your page yet, don't panic! ;)
Stay tuned. </span><a href="http://bit.ly/vTi6lt"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: #000099; font-family: Arial; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: underline; vertical-align: baseline;">Read the previous submission</span></a><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;">.</span><br /><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"></span><br /><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"></span><br /><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;">Our
very first non-first-page comes from Laurie. Her submission is a page
plucked from somewhere in the middle of her sci-fi novel Grey. She
requests that our critique focus on </span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: bold; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;">flow</span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;">, </span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: bold; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;">voice</span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;">, </span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: bold; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;">believability of the characters</span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;">, </span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: bold; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;">grammar</span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;">, and </span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: bold; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;">overall clarity</span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;">.</span><br /><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"></span><br /><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;">First we present the page without comment:</span><br /><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"></span></span><blockquote>
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;">Author: Laurie</span><br /><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;">Title: Grey</span><br /><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;">Genre: Sci-Fi</span><br /><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;">285 words</span><br /><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"></span><br /><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;">“Hey, Ray.”</span><br /><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"></span><br /><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;">He blinks a couple of times, then looks down at me with narrowed eyes.</span><br /><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"></span><br /><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;">“Don't talk to me like you're my friend,” he snaps.</span><br /><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"></span><br /><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;">“Woah, you're in a bad mood. Is it because you're guarding the doors again?”</span><br /><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"></span><br /><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;">He grits his teeth.</span><br /><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"></span><br /><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;">“No,
it's because some of my colleagues were murdered, that's why. What the
hell do you think you're doing, talking to a superior like this? I
should report you, and maybe I should say something about how you were
talking like a traitor earlier?”</span><br /><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"></span><br /><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;">He grins victoriously but I play bored and give him an even look.</span><br /><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"></span><br /><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;">“So what?” I say. “I'll just tell them you were on duty at the time the Grey got in.”</span><br /><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"></span><br /><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;">The
blood literally seeps from his face. He stares at me with eyes so wide
he begins to remind me of an owl. A really big owl that could crush my
neck in one hand if he wanted.</span><br /><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"></span><br /><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;">But
instead of the anger I expected, with possible violence, he just stands
there and gapes at me. I shift awkwardly. I'd wanted a rise out of him
so he'd be less cautious about telling me what was going on, but now
that my plan had failed, I wasn't sure what to do.</span><br /><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"></span><br /><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;">“Hey,” I say at last, “don't stare at me like I've gone mad. Say something.”</span><br /><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"></span><br /><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;">“A
Grey?” he croaks. He looks genuinely scared. If it had been normal
circumstances, I would have made fun of him. But no, the fact he looks
like that made me realise for the first time just how serious the danger
is. And that thought sends chills down my spine.</span></span></blockquote>
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"></span><br /><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"></span><br /><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"></span><br /><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;">What
say you, readers of Paper Hangover? Did this first page intrigue you
enough to read on? Please keep your criticisms constructive. Always be
polite and considerate of the writer. </span><br /><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"></span><br /><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;">Michael's and Lauren's line by line edits and then our overall comments after the jump.</span></span><a name='more'></a><span style="font-size: small;"><br /></span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><br /></span><br />
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: small; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;">“Hey, Ray.”</span><br />
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: small; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"></span><br />
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: small; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;">He blinks a couple of times, then looks down at me with narrowed eyes.</span><br />
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: small; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"></span><br />
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: small; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;">“Don't talk to me like you're my friend,” he snaps.</span><br />
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: small; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"></span><br />
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: small; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;">“Woah, you're in a bad mood. Is it because you're guarding the doors again?”</span><br />
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: small; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"></span><br />
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: small; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;">He grits his teeth. </span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: red; font-family: Arial; font-size: small; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;">Keep his reaction and dialogue in the same paragraph for clarity. </span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: small; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;">“No,
it's because some of my colleagues were murdered, that's why. What the
hell do you think you're doing, talking to a superior like this? I
should report you, and maybe I should say something about how you were
talking like a traitor earlier?”</span><br />
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: small; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"></span><br />
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: small; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;">He grins victoriously but I play bored and give him an even look.</span><br />
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: small; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"></span><br />
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: small; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;">“So what?” I say. “I'll just tell them you were on duty at the time the Grey got in.”</span><br />
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: small; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"></span><br />
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: small; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;">The blood literally seeps from his face. </span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: red; font-family: Arial; font-size: small; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;">I
don’t believe he’s actually bleeding from his face, but by the use of
the word “literally” it evokes an image of blood actually oozing out of
his face. If you mean it seeped metaphorically, then don’t say blood
“literally” seeps. Cut “literally”. But I’d still suggest not to use
“seeps” at all because of its literal meaning and the image it evokes. </span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: small; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;">He
stares at me with eyes so wide he begins to remind me of an owl. A
really big owl that could crush my neck in one hand if he wanted.</span><br />
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: small; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"></span><br />
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: small; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;">But
instead of the anger I expected, with possible violence, he just stands
there and gapes at me. I shift awkwardly. I'd wanted a rise out of him
so he'd be less cautious about telling me what was going on, but now
that my plan had failed, I wasn't sure what to do.</span><br />
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: small; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"></span><br />
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: small; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;">“Hey,” I say at last, “don't stare at me like I've gone mad. Say something.”</span><br />
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: small; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"></span><br />
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: small; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;">“A Grey?” he croaks. He looks genuinely scared. </span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: red; font-family: Arial; font-size: small; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;">Describe how he looks. Show us his facial expression or have him react in another way that we can see. </span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: small; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;">If
it had been normal circumstances, I would have made fun of him. But no,
the fact he looks like that made me realise for the first time just how
serious the danger is. And that thought sends </span><span style="background-color: yellow; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: small; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;">chills down my spine</span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: small; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;">. </span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: red; font-family: Arial; font-size: small; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;">Cliche.</span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: small; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"></span></blockquote>
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: small; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"></span><br />
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: small; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"></span><br />
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: small; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;">Michael’s comments:</span><br />
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: small; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"></span><br />
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: small; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;">Flow
- Dialogue always moves faster than narrative so the pace in this page
is fast, but not overly so. I never stumbled once in my reading.</span><br />
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: small; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"></span><br />
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: small; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;">Voice
- The voice didn’t really come through for me in this scene. It’s not
bad, but it doesn’t stand out either. That doesn't mean it fails to do
so throughout the rest of the novel though. However, it could possibly
be a good indication of where you might need to put some extra focus in
your revisions. Everything the reader needs to know comes through
narrative clearly, but not in a compelling way. I didn’t find any turns
of phrase or unique metaphors here, but you don’t need those on every
page. They are much better in small doses. And maybe you have included
some of that elsewhere in your story.</span><br />
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: small; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"></span><br />
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: small; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;">Characters
- These characters come across as if they are some kind of military
persons. That was my impression when the concept of superiors came up.
If not military, they are at least officials who hold some sort of rank.
In any case, they didn’t feel as authentic as they could be given their
hinted upon statuses. </span><br />
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: small; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"></span><br />
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: small; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;">When
Ray says, “...some of my colleagues were murdered,...” he comes across
as unattached to the deaths. I don’t know how long ago these deaths
occurred previous to this scene, nor do I know the relationship between
Ray and these colleagues of his or the circumstances of their deaths and
how much weight they hold in the story. But Ray’s reaction came across
to me like, “Meh. Some people died. I’m over it. Now I’m going to report
you for being naughty.”</span><br />
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: small; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"></span><br />
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: small; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;">I’m
not saying that Ray must dwell on these deaths. Maybe he has already
mourned them and gotten past it. But I feel like his reaction could use a
little more bite.</span><br />
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: small; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"></span><br />
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: small; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;">What
if he doesn’t even say the reason why he’s angry? Why would he confess
that to a lower ranking official anyway? What if he were to immediately
make a threat to the main character.</span><br />
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: small; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"></span><br />
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: small; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;">Before
I give you an example on how to do this, I want to make it clear that I
don’t make it a habit of rewriting someone’s work in my own voice, but
sometimes it’s the best way to express ideas.</span><br />
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: small; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"></span><br />
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: small; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;">Example:</span><br />
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: small; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;">….</span><br />
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: small; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;">“Woah, you're in a bad mood. Is it because you're guarding the doors again?”</span><br />
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: small; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;">“Good [soldiers] died [yesterday].” Silence. “And traitors like you get to walk around. But not if I file a report.”</span><br />
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: small; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;">He grins victoriously but I play bored and give him an even look.</span><br />
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: small; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;">“You were on duty at the time the Grey got in.”</span><br />
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: small; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;">He stares at me ….</span><br />
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: small; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"></span><br />
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: small; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;">(The
brackets around the words are because I’m not sure if they are soldiers
or not and I also don’t know when the deaths occurred.)</span><br />
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: small; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"></span><br />
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: small; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;">Again,
don’t just cut and paste my example into your scene. Take the idea of
it and rework it utilizing your own voice and the knowledge you have of
the plot/characters that I don’t. You know your story and characters
better than I do.</span><br />
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: small; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"></span><br />
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: small; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;">Grammar - Nothing to see here. Good job!</span><br />
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: small; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"></span><br />
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: small; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;">Clarity
- Even with the scene given out of context I was able to follow it.
Everything that does occur is clear. I didn’t struggle with any of your
writing style.</span><br />
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: small; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"></span><br />
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: small; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"></span><br />
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: small; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;">Lauren’s comments:</span><br />
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: small; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"></span><br />
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: small; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;">While
reading over this for the second time I actually had the thought, “Damn
it, I can’t think of anything to say.” But then I realized you’d
probably be happy to hear that. ;) I find this very well written so I
imagine your story is on the right track!</span><br />
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: small; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"></span><br />
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: small; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;">Where
I’m hardest to please is character believability, so that’s where
you’ll get some critique out of me. Mainly, I have questions for you,
brought up by lack of context.</span><br />
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: small; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"></span><br />
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: small; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;">Like
Michael, I got the sense that this is some type of military/official
setting. So it stretches my suspension of disbelief that the protagonist
is speaking so casually to Ray. Unless they </span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: small; font-style: italic; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;">are</span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: small; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;">
friends, though I don’t get any sense of affection in the protag’s
narration. And if they’re not friends, why is it unusual for Ray to
demand respect? In other words, why is the narrator acting as though insubordinate behavior isn’t remarkable?</span><br />
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: small; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"></span><br />
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: small; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;">I
disagree with Michael on one thing, and that’s Ray’s line about his
colleagues being murdered. I just get the idea he’s a no-nonsense dude
giving a cheeky answer. But you should obviously take into account what
sort of person you’re writing Ray as and take Michael’s suggestion
accordingly, and he provides a good example to work from.</span><br />
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: small; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"></span><br />
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: small; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;">Overall,
great work! I’m a sucker for creepiness and suspense and right now I’m
super curious to know what the heck a Grey is. Gimme more!</span>Lauren Hunterhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08176330531346665357noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4055434585976176946.post-76188844366791696272011-12-13T08:00:00.000-05:002011-12-13T08:00:15.112-05:00Teen Scene Tuesday: The Best Books of 2011<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgQqNiiJwkl49G1kdG78lGCXT0EoqT-sjKEzvxPzNtEK4gnXaEbMKwD5tCeuyojDB9UFwwF5uW_vq_rt9YLHzjbkDht6vkiVtomlQftgM9nhl2LUGl8yNr2UlrcR8trNN1Le5m9XjKYofKs/s1600/best.gif"><img style="MARGIN: 0px 10px 10px 0px; WIDTH: 319px; FLOAT: left; HEIGHT: 320px; CURSOR: hand" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5685355181217947826" border="0" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgQqNiiJwkl49G1kdG78lGCXT0EoqT-sjKEzvxPzNtEK4gnXaEbMKwD5tCeuyojDB9UFwwF5uW_vq_rt9YLHzjbkDht6vkiVtomlQftgM9nhl2LUGl8yNr2UlrcR8trNN1Le5m9XjKYofKs/s320/best.gif" /></a>As the year winds down, we're seeing a variety of "Best of..." lists. Of course, since I'm an aspiring author, I always tend to look at the "Best of..." lists that highlight all things books--especially YA. As a matter of fact, you can check out a variety of 2011 Best Book Lists by going <a href="http://randomhouse.tumblr.com/post/13119041969/the-best-of-the-book-lists">here</a>.<br /><br /><div>So with all of these opinions, I figure why not ask teens about the best books they've read in 2011--you know, since they're our target audience at all. With help from my cuz, <a href="http://seepamwrite.blogspot.com/">Quita</a>, here are the titles that were mentioned (in alphabetical order):</div><br /><br /><div><strong><span style="color:#ff0000;">1. </span></strong><em><strong><span style="color:#ff0000;">11/22/63</span></strong> </em>by Stephen King</div><br /><br /><div><strong><span style="color:#ff0000;">2. </span></strong><em><strong><span style="color:#ff0000;">All the King's Men</span></strong> </em>by Robert Penn Warren</div><br /><br /><div><strong><span style="color:#ff0000;">3. <em>Blueford </em>series</span></strong> by various authors</div><br /><br /><div><strong><span style="color:#ff0000;">4. </span></strong><em><strong><span style="color:#ff0000;">Claidi Journals</span></strong> </em>by Tanith Lee</div><br /><br /><div><strong><span style="color:#ff0000;">5. </span></strong><em><strong><span style="color:#ff0000;">The Crucible</span></strong> </em>by Arthur Miller</div><br /><br /><div><strong><span style="color:#ff0000;">6. </span></strong><em><strong><span style="color:#ff0000;">Delirium</span></strong> </em>by Lauren Oliver</div><br /><br /><div><strong><span style="color:#ff0000;">7. </span></strong><em><strong><span style="color:#ff0000;">Demon Seed</span></strong> </em>by Dean Koontz</div><br /><br /><div><strong><span style="color:#ff0000;">8. </span></strong><em><strong><span style="color:#ff0000;">Divergent</span></strong> </em>by Veronica Roth</div><br /><br /><div><strong><span style="color:#ff0000;">9. </span></strong><em><strong><span style="color:#ff0000;">Evermore</span></strong> </em>by Alyson Noel</div><br /><br /><div><strong><span style="color:#ff0000;">10. </span></strong><em><strong><span style="color:#ff0000;">The Foretelling</span></strong> </em>by Alice Hoffman</div><br /><br /><div><strong><span style="color:#ff0000;">11. </span></strong><em><strong><span style="color:#ff0000;">Last Sacrifice: A Vampire Academy Novel</span></strong> </em>by Richelle Mead</div><br /><br /><div><strong><span style="color:#ff0000;">12. </span></strong><em><strong><span style="color:#ff0000;">Medieval Tales and Stories</span></strong> </em>Edited and Translated by Stanley Applebaum</div><br /><br /><div><strong><span style="color:#ff0000;">13. </span></strong><em><strong><span style="color:#ff0000;">The Perks of Being a Wallflower</span></strong> </em>by Stephen Chbosky </div><br /><br /><div><strong><span style="color:#ff0000;">14. </span></strong><em><strong><span style="color:#ff0000;">Safe Haven</span></strong> </em>by Nicholas Sparks</div><br /><br /><div><strong><span style="color:#ff0000;">15. </span></strong><em><strong><span style="color:#ff0000;">The Son of Neptune</span></strong> </em>by Rick Riordan</div><br /><br /><div></div><br /><div>Two major things I noticed while reviewing this list:<br /></div><br /><ol><br /><li>Not all of these titles were published in 2011, and</li><br /><br /><li>Not all of these titles can be considered YA (major props to the teen who loves <em>Medieval Tales</em>)</li></ol><br /><p>So what does this information tells us about today's teen? Hey, I only gathered the data--but I'd love to hear your thoughts in the comments below. :)</p>Pam Harrishttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09872183610393667619noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4055434585976176946.post-51022301162914214792011-12-09T07:37:00.006-05:002011-12-13T19:22:45.517-05:00Friday Fives (34): Holidays Stories<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhXOKBpMQ-GgwKSFbMxtZLSiTkGa7jPkHhQkZ6iNCJKozO1i3T91wmc8rC1LfsuIHBoitwcwqVUA4uqjc6-AI9TPeK_l11XIcrOaBn6g1RJ2mE30buQcCyDnWW1DRuSlUvuAJDtEmu7Fx-Y/s1600/ff34.png"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhXOKBpMQ-GgwKSFbMxtZLSiTkGa7jPkHhQkZ6iNCJKozO1i3T91wmc8rC1LfsuIHBoitwcwqVUA4uqjc6-AI9TPeK_l11XIcrOaBn6g1RJ2mE30buQcCyDnWW1DRuSlUvuAJDtEmu7Fx-Y/s1600/ff34.png" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5684107739352479218" /></a><br /><br />Welcome to our weekly Friday Fives!<br /><br /><b><span style="color:green;">What are your</span> <span style="color: red;">FIVE</span> <span style="color:green;"> favorite Christmas/holidays stories or novels?</span></b><br /><br />Post about it on your blog and then leave your link (and blog name) below so everyone can visit your blog today!<br /><br /><script type="text/javascript" src="http://www.blenza.com/linkies/autolink.php?owner=eshin&postid=09Dec2011"></script><br /><br />Next week: <b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: cyan;">What are your </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #e69138;">FIVE </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: cyan;"> Christmas wishes?</span></b> :)Emy Shinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06841308748068494839noreply@blogger.com16tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4055434585976176946.post-80316156561053752232011-12-08T08:00:00.000-05:002011-12-08T10:58:15.407-05:00Writing 101: Page Critique - Vintagegirl<br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="background-color: transparent;">Every Thursday the Writing 101 crew, Michael and Lauren, will critique a page from a novel. If you'd like your page critiqued, please fill out the</span><a href="http://bit.ly/tqGmvT" style="background-color: transparent;"> Writing 101: Page Critique Form</a><span class="Apple-style-span" style="background-color: transparent;">. We have submissions queued up but are still posting just one page a week, so if you've submitted but haven't seen your page yet, don't panic! ;) Stay tuned. Also, you can read </span><a href="http://bit.ly/uMuqWG" style="background-color: transparent;">the previous submission</a><span class="Apple-style-span" style="background-color: transparent;">.</span><br /><br /><span class="Apple-style-span" style="background-color: transparent;">First we present the page without comment:</span></span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">Author: vintagegirl<br />Title: Fitz<br />Genre: Contemporary YA<br />1st Page (293 words)</span> </blockquote>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">After her death, it snowed for the first time in years. It was the first September morning and the sun had hidden behind thick layers of mist and wet snow. Alex Emerson watched it from his bed as he tried to rid his head of thoughts and feelings. It was easy enough not to think, but much harder to get rid of the void that filled his stomach. Trying to concentrate on the falling flakes and figuring out why they were white didn’t help, either.</span> </blockquote>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">Nothing helped. Everything reminded him of her.</span> </blockquote>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">Her name had been Beth. Beth Farlow. Mrs. Farlow, whom he had never really known, had come round their house a day after it had happened. Her eyes had been bloodshot cracks in her face when she asked him why her daughter had to die at seventeen. Because she had, for one second, been careless in crossing the railroad tracks. He hadn’t told her that a train had hit Beth Farlow because she had thrown herself in front of it. Because she had thought that seventeen was seventeen years too many to live.</span> </blockquote>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">He had been in his bed ever since it happened three days ago. His mother had gone through his room, taking away all sharp objects and things that could be turned into sharp objects. So that his room was a safe haven where he couldn’t hurt himself. So that he was stuck inside his own isolated hell, feeling nothing and unable to get rid of the constant need to do what Beth did.<br />He hadn’t gone to school. He intended not to until everyone had forgotten about Beth and gone back to their stupid lives. Or at least until they had gotten the ridiculous memorial service over with.</span></blockquote>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;"><br />What say you, readers of Paper Hangover? Did this first page intrigue you enough to read on? Please keep your criticisms constructive. Always be polite and considerate of the writer. </span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">Michael's and Lauren's line by line edits and then our overall comments after the jump.<span class="Apple-style-span" style="white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span><span style="background-color: transparent; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"></span><span style="background-color: transparent; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"></span><span style="background-color: transparent; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"></span></span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="background-color: transparent; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">After her death, it snowed for the first time in years. It was the first September morning. </span><span style="background-color: transparent; text-decoration: line-through; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">and the</span><span style="background-color: transparent; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"> </span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: red; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">The </span><span style="background-color: transparent; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">sun </span><span style="background-color: cyan; text-decoration: line-through; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">had </span><span style="background-color: transparent; text-decoration: line-through; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">hidden</span><span style="background-color: transparent; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"> </span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: red; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">hid </span><span style="background-color: transparent; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">behind thick layers of mist and wet snow.</span></span></blockquote>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: red; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">New Paragraph</span><span style="background-color: transparent; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">. Alex Emerson watched it from his bed </span><span style="background-color: transparent; text-decoration: line-through; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">as he tried</span><span style="background-color: transparent; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"> </span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: red; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">trying </span><span style="background-color: transparent; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">to rid his head of thoughts and feelings. </span><span style="background-color: transparent; text-decoration: line-through; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">It was</span><span style="background-color: transparent; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"> </span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: red; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">He found it </span><span style="background-color: transparent; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">easy enough not to think, but much harder to </span><span style="background-color: transparent; text-decoration: line-through; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">get rid of</span><span style="background-color: transparent; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"> </span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: red; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">ignore</span><span style="background-color: transparent; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"> the void </span><span style="background-color: transparent; text-decoration: line-through; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">that filled</span><span style="background-color: transparent; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"> </span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: red; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">a void can’t fill anything. in </span><span style="background-color: transparent; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">his stomach. </span><span style="background-color: transparent; text-decoration: line-through; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Trying to concentrate</span><span style="background-color: transparent; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"> </span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: red; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Concentrating</span><span style="background-color: transparent; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"> on the falling flakes and </span><span style="background-color: transparent; text-decoration: line-through; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">figuring out</span><span style="background-color: transparent; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"> </span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: red; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">wondering</span><span style="background-color: transparent; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"> why they were white didn’t help, either. </span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: red; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Interesting. Has he not seen snow before?</span><span style="background-color: transparent; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"></span><br /><span style="background-color: transparent; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"></span><br /><span style="background-color: transparent; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Nothing helped. Everything reminded him of </span><span style="background-color: transparent; text-decoration: line-through; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">her </span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: red; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Beth Farlow</span><span style="background-color: transparent; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">. </span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: red; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Could you be a little more specific about what reminded him of her? Consider mentioning at least one concrete thing that the reader can see that reminds him of her. This will give you an opportunity to work in some description and ground the reader in the scene a little more.</span><br /><span style="background-color: transparent; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"></span><br /><span style="background-color: transparent; text-decoration: line-through; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Her name </span><span style="background-color: cyan; text-decoration: line-through; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">had</span><span style="background-color: transparent; text-decoration: line-through; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"> been Beth.</span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: red; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"> Cut this sentence for redundancy. </span><span style="background-color: transparent; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Mrs. Farlow, whom he </span><span style="background-color: cyan; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">had </span><span style="background-color: transparent; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">never really known,</span><span style="background-color: cyan; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"> had</span><span style="background-color: transparent; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"> come round their house a day after it </span><span style="background-color: cyan; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">had</span><span style="background-color: transparent; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"> happened. Her eyes </span><span style="background-color: cyan; text-decoration: line-through; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">had </span><span style="background-color: transparent; text-decoration: line-through; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">been</span><span style="background-color: transparent; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"> </span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: red; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">were</span><span style="background-color: transparent; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"> bloodshot cracks in her face </span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: red; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I like this description. </span><span style="background-color: transparent; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">when she asked him why her daughter </span><span style="background-color: cyan; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">had </span><span style="background-color: transparent; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">to die at seventeen. Because she </span><span style="background-color: cyan; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">had</span><span style="background-color: transparent; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">, for one second, been careless in crossing the railroad tracks. He </span><span style="background-color: cyan; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">hadn’t</span><span style="background-color: transparent; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"> told her that a train </span><span style="background-color: cyan; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">had</span><span style="background-color: transparent; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"> hit Beth Farlow because she </span><span style="background-color: cyan; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">had</span><span style="background-color: transparent; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"> thrown herself in front of it. Because she </span><span style="background-color: cyan; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">had</span><span style="background-color: transparent; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"> thought that seventeen was seventeen years too many to live.</span><br /><span style="background-color: transparent; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"></span><br /><span style="background-color: transparent; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">He </span><span style="background-color: cyan; text-decoration: line-through; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">had</span><span style="background-color: transparent; text-decoration: line-through; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"> been</span><span style="background-color: transparent; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"> in his bed </span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: red; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">might want to choose a stronger verb here to convey his feelings about beth’s death. Perhaps something like: He’d clung to the comfort of his warm bed </span><span style="background-color: transparent; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">ever since it happened three days ago. His mother </span><span style="background-color: cyan; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">had</span><span style="background-color: transparent; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"> gone through his room, taking away all </span><span style="background-color: yellow; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">sharp objects</span><span style="background-color: transparent; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"> and things that could be turned into </span><span style="background-color: yellow; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">sharp objects</span><span style="background-color: transparent; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">. </span><span style="background-color: yellow; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">So that</span><span style="background-color: transparent; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"> his room was a safe haven where he couldn’t hurt himself. </span><span style="background-color: yellow; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">So that</span><span style="background-color: transparent; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"> he was </span><span style="background-color: transparent; text-decoration: line-through; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">stuck</span><span style="background-color: transparent; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"> </span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: red; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">trapped?</span><span style="background-color: transparent; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"> inside his </span><span style="background-color: transparent; text-decoration: line-through; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">own</span><span style="background-color: transparent; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"> isolated hell, </span><span style="background-color: transparent; text-decoration: line-through; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">feeling nothing</span><span style="background-color: transparent; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"> </span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: red; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">If he’s feeling nothing, why is there a constant desire to commit suicide like Beth? That tells me that he’s feeling something: pain/sadness/loss. Then there’s this sentence: “Alex Emerson watched it from his bed as he tried to rid his head of thoughts and </span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: red; font-weight: bold; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">feelings</span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: red; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">.” </span><span style="background-color: transparent; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">unable to get rid of the constant </span><span style="background-color: transparent; text-decoration: line-through; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">need</span><span style="background-color: transparent; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"> </span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: red; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">desire/urge?</span><span style="background-color: transparent; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"> to do what Beth did.</span><br /><span style="background-color: transparent; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"></span><br /><span style="background-color: transparent; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">He </span><span style="background-color: cyan; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">hadn’t</span><span style="background-color: transparent; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"> gone to school. He intended not to until everyone </span><span style="background-color: cyan; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">had</span><span style="background-color: transparent; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"> forgotten about Beth and gone back to their stupid lives. Or at least until they </span><span style="background-color: cyan; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">had</span><span style="background-color: transparent; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"> gotten the ridiculous memorial service over with. </span><br /><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: red;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span></span></span></blockquote>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;"><b>Michael’s comments:</b> I was intrigued by the opening sentence, but the story came to a halt for me beyond the first two paragraphs because it turns into a trip down Flashback Lane. Some of that backstory the reader doesn’t need to know yet, if at all.<br /><br />There are 35 uses of the word “had” in this first page alone. There’s nothing inherently wrong with the word “had”, but when they add up like this in such a short span, it brings the story to a grinding halt because the scene is taking place in the past. The majority of your scenes, especially opening scenes, should be taking place in the “present”. The reader wants to know what’s happening “now”.<br /><br />In order to keep a reader locked onto the page, the story must <a href="http://bit.ly/nkYZQ6" target="_blank">remain in the “present” for quite some time</a> before dipping into the past. If backstory in an opening is absolutely necessary for the reader to understand what is going on, then as a last resort, try to filter it through the POV character (it might be wise to this regardless).<br /><br />One way to convey backstory is to quickly get it out the way simply by stating the facts but blending it in with the present story.<br /><br />Example:</span><br />
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">“Everything reminded him of his best friend Beth Farlow: her sketches of dragons resting on his nightstand, the ticket stub from the last movie they saw together, the stupid chewing gum wrapper she never to threw away.<br /> <br />He swept his arm across his nightstand, knocking all the wonderful memories into the trashcan. That’s exactly what she did to their friendship when she jumped in front of that train. Three days ago she tossed it all away like garbage. Seventeen didn’t seem like it was too many years to live until now.”</span></blockquote>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;"><br />And then get it on with the present story. What is Alex doing at this moment in time, right now? Give him something to do. The above example is in my writing voice. And without knowing the rest of the chapter/story it may not be appropriate. It’s merely to give you an idea of how you can blend information with present thoughts and actions. You would, of course, have to rewrite it in your own voice using your knowledge of the story/characters.<br /><br />Other concerns--Was Beth Alex’s girlfriend or were they just best friends? It seems as if they were close, but I’m not completely sure what their relationship is. Some readers might need to know how close they were in order to get a better gage on how we should feel about this death. If they were best friends, mention that. If they were dating, mention that. If they weren’t really close at all, mention that, but then the reader is going to want to know why he cares so much. So, you would have to mention why that is in that instance.<br /><br /><br /><b>Lauren’s comments:</b> Every time I start a new story I make the same mistake. “Going to start the story at this spot! Now let me quickly explain how we got to this point.” It seems like that’s the trap you’ve fallen into here. The main character has just gone through a horrible emotional event, and you’re summing it up for the reader in past perfect tense--it’s done, it’s over. I don’t feel any tension when I read this. I’m not sure why Beth is special, to Alex or to me as a reader. I don’t see where the story can go from here, since it seems like Alex’s life is over already.<br /><br />I don’t doubt that there is much more to your story than that. But before I can be invested, I need to have a little idea of what’s in store. Is the lack of sharp objects really the only thing that’s keeping Alex alive? What else motivates him? Does he want to carry on for his family, his friends? Is there some question surrounding Beth’s death, or something left unresolved between the two of them, that he needs to figure out?<br /><br />Numbness is a realistic response to loss, but unfortunately it usually doesn’t endear readers to your characters. Like Michael pointed out, if Alex were truly feeling nothing, he wouldn’t want to end his life. So you’ve got something to grab onto there. Can you describe what Alex is going through in terms of what’s inside him rather than what’s not (i.e. a void)?<br /><br />What is Alex doing in this scene? It doesn’t have to be an action, necessarily, to be active. But I like having something concrete, no matter how small, in an opening to sort of anchor me.<br /><br />To summarize, in order to get the most out of this scene, I would suggest you:<br />1. cut down on the flashbacks,<br />2. make Alex’s emotions more vivid,<br />3. give us enough detail about Beth to know why he cares,<br />4. let us know what’s happening in the present and what might happen in the future.<br /><br />That sounds like a lot, but again, I believe you have all the material you need--it’s just a matter of bringing it to the surface. :)</span></div>
</div>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13524233544265478661noreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4055434585976176946.post-18326763978420564642011-12-06T09:04:00.001-05:002011-12-06T09:04:24.466-05:00Teen Scene Talks BackSince Pam and I have been at the Teen Scene deal for a while now, I thought I'd take the time today to ask you guys what kind of things you'd like to see featured.<br />
<br />
We've done a lot of interviews, some guest blogs, and featured popular trends in the <i>Teendom</i> so far. Now I'd like to know if there's anything specific YOU would like to ask a teen. Do you have any questions, any suggestions, any feedback? <br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<img alt="http://www.jsdguitarshack.com/images/feedback.jpg" height="200" src="http://www.jsdguitarshack.com/images/feedback.jpg" width="165" /> </div>
<br />
I'd love to hear what you have to say in the comments!Holly Hillhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07901177289663629475noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4055434585976176946.post-28110922577259949422011-12-02T07:42:00.003-05:002011-12-02T07:54:05.393-05:00Friday Fives (33): Holidays Traditions<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgwqosMC8m2OOU9Dg3qFH2_0Kmd2-GZjQlzn_MqjEvBsSDITYzLrbBuhRh5y4lUbqPxPulWcZaoDT6t2OwpZ63rIyWXV6rpD-WNQfLOpYcpHTg_7ZDCnp7C-ULKNSSPAWRl1ufRqc5Bk0uL/s1600/ff33.png" onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgwqosMC8m2OOU9Dg3qFH2_0Kmd2-GZjQlzn_MqjEvBsSDITYzLrbBuhRh5y4lUbqPxPulWcZaoDT6t2OwpZ63rIyWXV6rpD-WNQfLOpYcpHTg_7ZDCnp7C-ULKNSSPAWRl1ufRqc5Bk0uL/s1600/ff33.png" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5681513192266013378" /></a><br /><br />Welcome to our weekly Friday Fives!<br /><br /><b><span style="color: #af5080;">What are your</span> <span style="color: red;">FIVE</span> <span style="color: #af5080;"> holidays traditions?</span></b><br /><br />Post about it on your blog and then leave your link (and blog name) below so everyone can visit your blog today!<br /><br /><script type="text/javascript" src="http://www.blenza.com/linkies/autolink.php?owner=eshin&postid=02Dec2011"></script><br /><br />Next week: <b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: cyan;">What are your </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #e69138;">FIVE </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: cyan;"> favorite holidays/Christmas novels?</span></b> :)Emy Shinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06841308748068494839noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4055434585976176946.post-39489118836319740052011-12-01T08:00:00.000-05:002011-12-01T08:00:18.275-05:00Writing 101: Page Critique - Sel<span style="font-size: small;"><span id="internal-source-marker_0.4251341187479797" style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;">Every
Thursday the Writing 101 crew, Michael and Lauren, will critique a page
from a novel. If you'd like your page critiqued, please fill out the</span><a href="http://bit.ly/tqGmvT"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"> </span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: #000099; font-family: Arial; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: underline; vertical-align: baseline;">Writing 101: Page Critique Form</span></a><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;">. At this point we have submissions queued up but are still posting just one page a week, so if you've submitted but haven't seen your page yet, don't panic! ;) Stay tuned.</span><br /><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"></span><br /><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;">First we present the page without comment:</span><br /><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"></span></span><br />
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;">Author: Sel</span><br /><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;">Title: Light Me Up, Turn Me Grey</span><br /><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;">Genre: YA dystopian/fantasy</span><br /><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;">1st Page (232 words)</span><br /><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"></span><br /><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"></span><br /><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;">Hell
starts on day one, they say; guilty until proven innocent, or until you
break and bribe an official to release your name from the Book. You'll
be nameless and poor but free and happy.</span><br /><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;">Everyone
in our little society are here, cramped and sweaty and fussed like
little robots, standing half a metre apart in the marketplace surrounded
by concrete slabs, blue sky and rusty, broken walls. We almost deserve
the strikes they give us, for being weak and imperfect.</span><br /><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;">The
whistles in the air are as rhythmic and predictable as the moans we
drive into this world. The soldiers give us a second of rest—a painless
moment where our muscles relax, before a second, a third strike that
makes us stiffen again. In between strikes, they shower us with salt
water to keep the wounds alive. Think of grey, I tell myself, a calm,
grey ocean blending in perfectly with pale skin and blood. Don't let the
pain sear into your mind. Only my skin, yesyes.</span><br /><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;">The
girl in front of me; she's wearing a transparent, blood drenched dress.
But that is not the most interesting; she is silent even when the
others bow and shudder away and scream their pretty heads off.</span><br /><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;">My eyes stay on her for the rest of the beating, so that the screams of pain fade to hums. </span><br /><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;">The Purge-Captain coughs into the microphone.</span></span></blockquote>
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"></span><br /><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"></span><br /><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;">What
say you, readers of Paper Hangover? Did this first page intrigue you
enough to read on? Please keep your criticisms constructive. Always be
polite and considerate of the writer. </span><br /><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"></span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"> </span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;">Michael's and Lauren's line by line edits and then our overall comments after the jump.</span><br /><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"></span><br /><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"></span></span><br />
<a name='more'></a><span style="font-size: small;"><br /></span><br />
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;">Hell
starts on day one, they say; guilty until proven innocent, or until you
break and bribe an official to release your name from the Book. You'll
be nameless and poor but free and happy.</span><br /><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;">Everyone
in our little society are here, cramped and sweaty and fussed like
little robots, standing half a metre apart in the marketplace surrounded
by concrete slabs, blue sky and rusty, broken walls. </span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: red; font-family: Arial; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;">This
final sentence feels like it might be trying to accomplish too much at
once. Consider breaking it up into at least two smaller sentences.</span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"></span><br /><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"></span><br /><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;">We almost deserve the strikes they give us, for being weak and imperfect. </span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: red; font-family: Arial; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;">Consider
separating this line from the previous paragraph since it comes
directly from the main characters POV. We get a glimpse at how the MC
feels about the situation they are in, and with this line isolated, it
packs a bit of a punch</span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;">.</span><br /><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"></span><br /><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;">The
whistles in the air are as rhythmic and predictable as the moans we
drive into this world. The soldiers give us a second of rest—a painless
moment where our muscles relax, before a second, a third strike that
makes us stiffen again. In between strikes, they shower us with salt
water to keep the wounds alive. </span><br /><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"></span><br /><span style="background-color: transparent; color: red; font-family: Arial; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;">New paragraph because the next line comes directly from the main characters POV.</span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"></span><br /><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;">Think
of grey, I tell myself, a calm, grey ocean blending in perfectly with
pale skin and blood. Don't let the pain sear into your mind. Only my
skin, yesyes.</span><br /><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"></span><br /><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;">The girl in front of me; she's wearing a transparent, blood drenched dress. But that is not the most interesting </span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: red; font-family: Arial; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;">Maybe “interesting” isn’t the right word here?</span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"> </span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: red; font-family: Arial; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;">Perhaps something like: But that is not the most puzzling/disconcerting/disturbing thing about her</span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;">; she is silent even when the others bow and shudder away and scream their pretty heads off.</span><br /><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"></span><br /><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;">My eyes stay on her for the rest of the beating, so that the screams of pain fade to hums. </span><br /><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;">The Purge-Captain coughs into the microphone.</span></span></blockquote>
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"></span><br /><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"></span><br /><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"><b>Michael’s
comments: </b>I’m hooked! This is a really good page. And I’m not the
hugest of fans of the dystopian genre. But I’d definitely read more of
this. I’m intrigued by the voice and the story questions you’ve raised. I
only have a few small suggestions:</span><br /><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"></span><br /><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;">Try
to introduce the marketplace a little earlier. When the MC says,
“Everyone in our little society are here...” I wasn’t able to picture
where “here” was until the description of the marketplace came, which
took a little too long to arrive. </span><br /><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"></span><br /><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;">Also,
about how many people are in this society? The reader doesn’t need an
exact number, just an estimate so that we can get a better feel of how
cramped they all are. You could use this as an opportunity to show us
how they are a sea of people standing shoulder to shoulder, their sweat
dripping onto each other or how the MC can feel someone breathing on the
back of her neck. This may not be the image you have in mind (you did
mention that they were standing half a metre apart which is not super
close), but I think you could show us this scene a little more
concretely with the right words. Not too much though. Just a few choice
words here and there.</span><br /><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"></span><br /><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;">What
are the whistles in the air? Is it the sound of the soldiers striking
the people? If so, what are the soldiers striking the people with? Whips
or something like that? The reader needs to know this so that we can
picture the scene accurately. You don’t want the reader to image
something that you don’t intend and then what you reveal later is
actually different from what the reader imagined. That jolts readers
from a story.</span><br /><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"></span><br /><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"><b>Lauren’s
comments:</b> Amazing voice! This whole thing is excellent; I can think of
very little to say except to echo Michael. The above line edits are
really where it’s at, in my opinion. I felt some disorientation with
regards to POV, but making the line breaks when you switch from
description to thoughts will help.</span><br /><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"></span><br /><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;">My
only other issue is that I can’t figure out what’s going on! At first I
thought the narrator has just become the nameless/poor/free/happy
state, but on a second reading I gathered that’s not the case. Now I’m
wondering: is the narrator a slave, hence the marketplace? Are these
people prisoners? WHAT’S GOING OOON my poor clueless reader brain can’t
handle it D:</span><br /><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"></span><br /><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;">If
you can give me a little more detail on the who/what/when/where, you’ll
have me hooked. (The why and how don’t need to appear right away;
they’re why I keep reading!)</span></span>Lauren Hunterhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08176330531346665357noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4055434585976176946.post-25643316252433453812011-11-29T08:00:00.000-05:002011-11-29T08:00:03.766-05:00Teen Scene Tuesday: No Way to PDA in YA?So, something scary has happened. No, it has nothing to do with my health or my writing or my day job. No, this is far, far creepier. You see, my 16-year-old niece may have a boyfriend.<br /><br /><br /><div><br /><div></div><img style="TEXT-ALIGN: center; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 214px; DISPLAY: block; HEIGHT: 320px; CURSOR: hand" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5680153873010126946" border="0" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgkMacNxbYk5yvvFFDqYIMZOvJ9A5zexCI3W6S8mpybDjLr5Ihk3xk7So7yRv8OAZqGo8DOLUkzPsYi87yaGmk__o-w-4_fvP-xsHxfd8gYpePOLvMnWuEh90LRVQwi5HDb6SUiAwFfcGKj/s320/terrified.jpg" /><br /><br /><div>As you can tell, this terrifies me. I can totally see why she has a boyfriend. She's one of the funniest, most intelligent people I've ever met--and I don't just say that because we're blood-related (though that does give me bragging rights). But I can still remember dressing her up in silly clothes when she was a baby, and hear her whining about how much she wants "juice-sh" (she always had to make that extra sound at the end).</div><br /><br /><div>I trust my niece to make wise decisions about her "love life"--and her mom has done a fantastic job with raising her. But still, just the thought of some punk getting all touchy-feely with her makes me sick to my stomach.</div><br /><br /><br /><div><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiLybz9ilMEd5VzzCCIhyHBfsAZx63421_xbLYKJo0rzss5wFGJ-ZcGSrVibWFyY5WwlGMv8KdBSDLZ_eNUgtYkDtx1aVVBx53_e0B5x0K0DQyydDgJhtCpbwZvfgU7KOjRXKzP9ZN5Ne5W/s1600/kissing.jpg"><img style="MARGIN: 0px 10px 10px 0px; WIDTH: 255px; FLOAT: left; HEIGHT: 320px; CURSOR: hand" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5680154247693387506" border="0" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiLybz9ilMEd5VzzCCIhyHBfsAZx63421_xbLYKJo0rzss5wFGJ-ZcGSrVibWFyY5WwlGMv8KdBSDLZ_eNUgtYkDtx1aVVBx53_e0B5x0K0DQyydDgJhtCpbwZvfgU7KOjRXKzP9ZN5Ne5W/s320/kissing.jpg" /></a>Yes, this is coming from the woman who gets disappointed when she has a chapter in which her characters DON'T make out. From the same woman who snapped at someone in her critique group when they complained that I should not make my teen characters have sex.</div><br /><br /><div>So even though I don't have kids of my own, I can now understand where some of these parents are coming from. I just finished my NaNo novel, and when two of my characters got a little too close for comfort, it started feeling a little...strange to me.</div><br /><br /><div>Have I lost my edge now that my niece is dating? To all my writers that are parents out there, how do you feel about love scenes in YA novels? Also, has having your own kids affected the way you write now? I'd also love to read thoughts from people who don't have kids yet like me.</div></div>Pam Harrishttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09872183610393667619noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4055434585976176946.post-84407364851536190012011-11-25T10:38:00.004-05:002011-11-25T10:43:45.994-05:00Friday Fives (32): ThanksgivingI apologize for this terribly late Friday Fives post. I hope everybody had a wonderful Thanksgiving day yesterday! Like you all, I am currently in a food coma. :)<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhUs8fRDjzVe799g4o_YKePWGhUsfqKA_NmzOeQil8P2s43LCpIQPzOT9iLeAlJulNkCpdCVNphIGFIe11qWFfPpXqiSmE0LS1ts40AhWLdXLMN8DivjOKt9pnEOjKv9EhhpnTMLGo7Imuv/s1600/ff32.png"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhUs8fRDjzVe799g4o_YKePWGhUsfqKA_NmzOeQil8P2s43LCpIQPzOT9iLeAlJulNkCpdCVNphIGFIe11qWFfPpXqiSmE0LS1ts40AhWLdXLMN8DivjOKt9pnEOjKv9EhhpnTMLGo7Imuv/s1600/ff32.png" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5678959153824578146" /></a><br /><br />Welcome to our weekly Friday Fives!<br /><br /><b><span style="color: #af5080;">What are the</span> <span style="color: red;">FIVE</span> <span style="color: #af5080;"> things you're thankful for?</span></b><br /><br />Post about it on your blog and then leave your link (and blog name) below so everyone can visit your blog today!<br /><br /><script type="text/javascript" src="http://www.blenza.com/linkies/autolink.php?owner=eshin&postid=25Nov2011"></script>Emy Shinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06841308748068494839noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4055434585976176946.post-32704779517978655572011-11-24T08:00:00.000-05:002011-11-24T08:00:10.284-05:00Happy Thanksgiving!Happy Turkey Day to our readers in the United States! Michael and I are taking this week off. We will be back next Thursday with more page critiques. If you would like to submit something from your own story for us to look at, you can do so <a href="http://paperhangover.blogspot.com/2011/10/writing-101-page-critiques.html">here</a>.<br />
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Have a great weekend, everyone!Lauren Hunterhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08176330531346665357noreply@blogger.com4