Showing posts with label writers. Show all posts
Showing posts with label writers. Show all posts

Thursday, November 17, 2011

Writing 101: Page Critique - Emberchyld



Every Thursday the Writing 101 crew, Michael and Lauren, will critique a page from a novel. If you'd like your page critiqued, please fill out the Writing 101: Page Critique Form. Read the previous submission.

First we present the page without comment:


Author: Emberchyld
Title: The Desired
Genre: YA Paranormal
1st Page (242 words)


“You are so important, Sara. To me and to the world,” He whispered, as the sky above us flamed in a lightshow unlike any I’ve ever seen.

No one ever told me that my world would end in a medieval castle halfway around the world from my parents, my school, and my best friend.

No one ever told me that I’d have to choose between two people who I loved—and that my choice would probably mean life and death.

No one had told me that my life would be anything but normal, that the summer before my senior year would be anything more than a tan, a few great photographs, and a lot of good memories.

No one told me that I would be the one who had to save the world.

I wish they had. I would totally have slept in this morning.

Chapter 1
The summer before my eighteenth birthday was supposed to be quiet and normal. Well, about as normal as a summer can be when you’re shipped off to hang out on your grandparents’ farm in Europe while the rest of your classmates get to go to the shore or Philly or Florida. But, still, I wasn’t expecting anything special. Jog every morning, take a few photos for my blog, prep some of my college applications, drink lots of espressos at the local internet cafĂ©.

Yeah, things never seem to turn out the way that you want.



What say you, readers of Paper Hangover? Did this first page intrigue you enough to read on? Please keep your criticisms constructive. Always be polite and considerate of the writer. Michael's and Lauren's line by line edits and then our overall comments, after the jump.

Thursday, October 27, 2011

Writing 101: Page Critiques

If you would like to have a page from your novel critiqued by the Writing 101 crew, we are now taking submissions. (See the form below.) Every Thursday Michael and Lauren will critique a page from a novel.


Genres We Accept

We accept any genre under the YA umbrella (mainstream, paranormal, fantasy, sci-fi, et al.).


What We Will Critique

We will critique first pages and anything else you need feedback on.

The all important first page is essential to get right...but so is the rest of you novel. It's not chopped liver.

We recognize that sometimes you may need targeted feedback on a scene that doesn't take place on the very first page of your novel. This is why we're opening up the flood gates and allowing you to submit a random page from your novel.


How Will It Work?

Along with your submission, you'll simply tell us that your page is not the first page of your novel and you'll describe to us what exactly are you looking for in your critique.

For instance, you may need feedback on your love scene, or you might need direction for your fight scene, or maybe there's a craft technique that you're not quite sure you understand and you need an outsider's eyes to make sure you're on the right track.

Whatever your issue is just let us know. We will focus our critique towards your needs, directly targeting the specific area where you feel you may need the most help.


More Info

A random number generator will choose which page(s) we will critique that week.

Each week we will post one or two submitted pages to the blog, including our notes.

Readers of Paper Hangover will be encouraged to offer their own constructive criticisms in the comment section.


Thursday, October 13, 2011

The Goldilocks Zone





Today's post is about balancing description in your narrative. You don’t want too much description, or not enough description. You want to find that infamous Goldilocks Zone where the amount of description is just right.














Incorporate All the Senses

You've probably heard this one a gazillion times. That's because it works. 

Using any other sense besides sight makes a huge difference in narrative because sight is the sense most of us rely on most frequently. It's useful and necessary, but kinda boring.

The addition of sound, touch, smell and taste enhances the reader experience because those senses are used less frequently, making them stand out more.

Try to include as many senses as you can, but only the ones most important to the thing you are describing. It isn't necessary to use all the senses in every given scene.

How do you know which senses are most important? See the next item directly below.


Zoom In On Unique/Contrasting Details
  • A mouse the size of an elephant
  • An elephant the size of a mouse
  • A wagon shaped like a rocket
  • A cave that smells like laundry detergent
  • Roses that smell sour
  • A car wreck that sounded like guitar strings snapping
  • An ice cube that burns
  • Salty ice cream

Not all of your descriptions will be as contrasting as those examples, but the key is to find something so specific about the thing you’re describing that the image implants into the readers head and they begin to experience the story first-hand.

Pick one or two things that stand out in your setting or characters and describe that in great detail. (See, “Description Length”)


Filter Description Through the POV Character

When the POV character directly conveys how they feel about the sight/smell/sound/etc. they are experiencing, it makes the description more entertaining for the reader. Simple as that.

People read encyclopedias when they want a list of facts. People read stories because they want to become immersed in a world outside of their own.

Revise that info dump until it feels like something the POV character would actually think about or say in that moment. Show their personality. Express who they are on the surface and at their core. It will bring your story to life.


Skip the Mundane

We live in an age where the world is literally at our fingertips. There are some things that just don’t require much explaining in fiction. Some things are universal enough that you can mention them without going into a lot of detail about it.

You always need to set the scene, and some description is always required, but a hospital is a hospital, a church is a church, and a school is a school no matter where you go.

Of course, not all hospitals, churches or schools look exactly the same as one another. They come in all different sizes and depending on where you are in the world, they will vary in numerous other ways. Those will be the unique details you pick out to describe your specific setting.

Beyond that, readers will imagine the kind of setting that’s most familiar to them. When we read a story set inside a school for instance, we tend to imagine the school we used to attend or the school we send our children to. We imagine the hospital where we go to see our personal physician, and the church we were baptized in, etc.

Only if there is something unique about the setting as described in the story we’re reading do we begin to see a different image in our minds.

For instance, the school may be described in the story as being held in a castle with lots of secret passageways, the professors are wizards, and ghosts frequently roam the halls. (See: “Zoom In On Unique/Contrasting Details.” Also, Harry Potter.)


Description Length

It’s not the size of the boat. It’s the motion in the ocean.

Sometimes you’ll need a paragraph or more to describe something. Other times you’ll need just a sentence or two. Fantasy writers, for instance, usually need to include more description than thriller writers because of the various new concepts that are introduced in a fantastical setting.

The Goldilocks Zone is what you make it. Everyone has their own tolerance level when it comes to description. Some readers require more description than other readers do. Each individual reader will bring his or her own preferences to your story, and there’s no way to anticipate that.

Utilizing the techniques above have helped me stay within a general safe zone.

Monday, August 22, 2011

Author and Literary Agent Lauren Hammond talks the Double Life.

Today on Paper Hangover author and Literary Agent Lauren Hammond drops by to talk agenting, writing, and her one or two books released in 2011.

Lauren is a sweetheart, is helpful and inspirational. She will go out of her way to help any writer. You can follow her on Twitter and just how nice she is!

How many Lauren Hammond books are being published this year?
Ummm a lot. LOL. In 2011 four, are coming out. Famished was released July 26, 2011.

Photo Credit: Goodreads.com
Summary courtesy of Amazon. com There is no United States. There is no world. An asteroid has destroyed what the human race knew as earth and The Great Famine has wiped out most of the surviving human population. For the few remaining survivors, food is scarce-- precious--a luxury. A luxury that most humans can’t find.

Seventeen year old Georgina Carver is fortunate. She’s survived the destruction. She eats three times a day while the rest of humanity is plagued by The Great Famine. And she’s safe, hidden away in an underground colony with her family and several other families of survivors.

All of that changes the day she’s randomly selected to be a gatherer. Georgina must leave her safe yet simple world and venture out into a world unknown. A vast, dangerous, destroyed world that could literally eat her alive.

After Georgina is severely injured, her life begins to fall apart. She can’t remember how she got home or what happened to her while she was on the new earth. The boy she is crushing on avoids her and she keeps having visions that involve an unknown person with violet eyes.

As Georgina begins to unravel the truth, it doesn’t take her long to figure out that maybe her safe yet simple life isn’t that safe at all.

Pride comes out September 6, 2011. A Whisper To A Scream comes out October 4, 2011 And Asphodel comes out December 2011.

Your books are released by Punkin House, tell us about them?

Actually I only have three books with Punkin House. Love Sucks was released in 2010. The Truth About Delilah and A Sucker for Love(Love Sucks 2) will be out in 2012. The rest of my books are published by S.B. Addison Books.

How do you balance life as a literary agent and a writer? Does the agent in you make you harder on your own personal writing?
Honestly, for me, it's not really having to balance either one. I organize separate parts of the day for each. The mornings are specifically for my agent work and evenings are for writing. As far as being harder on my own work, I think I'm definitely harder on my own personal works in progress.

You are an agent with ADA Management, what made you make the jump from writer to agent?
Well, I love reading and I love giving feedback. Most importantly, I love helping writers. I get goosebumps when I read a great manuscript.

How do you know you've found a manuscript that you will offer representation on?

For me voice is key and great story-telling. I like a lot of dark writing, the darker the better. And I love re-tellings... Especially mythological re-tellings. Check out Laurens blog post on how she knows.

And just for fun, What can't you write without?

Flavored sparkling water. Lemon and Lime and Black Cherry are my favorites.

Thanks so much for stopping by Lauren!

Lauren is closed to submissions until September, check out the submissions page on her website for her submission guidelines, so you are ready!