Showing posts with label Lauren M. Hunter. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Lauren M. Hunter. Show all posts

Thursday, December 22, 2011

Happy Holidays!

Happy Holidays everyone! Michael and Lauren are taking the holiday off. We will be back after the holiday with more page critiques.

If you would like to submit a page from your story for us to look at, you may read our guidelines and fill out the Writing 101: Page Critique Form. You may also read the previous submission.


Have a great holiday, everyone!


And now a holiday themed video:







Thursday, December 15, 2011

Every Thursday the Writing 101 crew, Michael and Lauren, will critique a page from a novel. If you'd like your page critiqued, please fill out the Writing 101: Page Critique Form.

We have submissions queued up but are still posting just one page a week, so if you've submitted but haven't seen your page yet, don't panic! ;) Stay tuned. Read the previous submission.


Our very first non-first-page comes from Laurie. Her submission is a page plucked from somewhere in the middle of her sci-fi novel Grey. She requests that our critique focus on flow, voice, believability of the characters, grammar, and overall clarity.

First we present the page without comment:
Author: Laurie
Title: Grey
Genre: Sci-Fi
285 words

“Hey, Ray.”

He blinks a couple of times, then looks down at me with narrowed eyes.

“Don't talk to me like you're my friend,” he snaps.

“Woah, you're in a bad mood. Is it because you're guarding the doors again?”

He grits his teeth.

“No, it's because some of my colleagues were murdered, that's why. What the hell do you think you're doing, talking to a superior like this? I should report you, and maybe I should say something about how you were talking like a traitor earlier?”

He grins victoriously but I play bored and give him an even look.

“So what?” I say. “I'll just tell them you were on duty at the time the Grey got in.”

The blood literally seeps from his face. He stares at me with eyes so wide he begins to remind me of an owl. A really big owl that could crush my neck in one hand if he wanted.

But instead of the anger I expected, with possible violence, he just stands there and gapes at me. I shift awkwardly. I'd wanted a rise out of him so he'd be less cautious about telling me what was going on, but now that my plan had failed, I wasn't sure what to do.

“Hey,” I say at last, “don't stare at me like I've gone mad. Say something.”

“A Grey?” he croaks. He looks genuinely scared. If it had been normal circumstances, I would have made fun of him. But no, the fact he looks like that made me realise for the first time just how serious the danger is. And that thought sends chills down my spine.



What say you, readers of Paper Hangover? Did this first page intrigue you enough to read on? Please keep your criticisms constructive. Always be polite and considerate of the writer.

Michael's and Lauren's line by line edits and then our overall comments after the jump.

Thursday, December 8, 2011

Writing 101: Page Critique - Vintagegirl


Every Thursday the Writing 101 crew, Michael and Lauren, will critique a page from a novel. If you'd like your page critiqued, please fill out the Writing 101: Page Critique Form. We have submissions queued up but are still posting just one page a week, so if you've submitted but haven't seen your page yet, don't panic! ;) Stay tuned. Also, you can read the previous submission.

First we present the page without comment:

Author: vintagegirl
Title: Fitz
Genre: Contemporary YA
1st Page (293 words)
 
After her death, it snowed for the first time in years. 
It was the first September morning and the sun had hidden behind thick layers of mist and wet snow. Alex Emerson watched it from his bed as he tried to rid his head of thoughts and feelings. It was easy enough not to think, but much harder to get rid of the void that filled his stomach. Trying to concentrate on the falling flakes and figuring out why they were white didn’t help, either. 
Nothing helped. Everything reminded him of her. 
Her name had been Beth. Beth Farlow. Mrs. Farlow, whom he had never really known, had come round their house a day after it had happened. Her eyes had been bloodshot cracks in her face when she asked him why her daughter had to die at seventeen. Because she had, for one second, been careless in crossing the railroad tracks. He hadn’t told her that a train had hit Beth Farlow because she had thrown herself in front of it. Because she had thought that seventeen was seventeen years too many to live. 
He had been in his bed ever since it happened three days ago. His mother had gone through his room, taking away all sharp objects and things that could be turned into sharp objects. So that his room was a safe haven where he couldn’t hurt himself. So that he was stuck inside his own isolated hell, feeling nothing and unable to get rid of the constant need to do what Beth did.
He hadn’t gone to school. He intended not to until everyone had forgotten about Beth and gone back to their stupid lives. Or at least until they had gotten the ridiculous memorial service over with.

What say you, readers of Paper Hangover? Did this first page intrigue you enough to read on? Please keep your criticisms constructive. Always be polite and considerate of the writer. 

Michael's and Lauren's line by line edits and then our overall comments after the jump.

Thursday, December 1, 2011

Writing 101: Page Critique - Sel

Every Thursday the Writing 101 crew, Michael and Lauren, will critique a page from a novel. If you'd like your page critiqued, please fill out the Writing 101: Page Critique Form. At this point we have submissions queued up but are still posting just one page a week, so if you've submitted but haven't seen your page yet, don't panic! ;) Stay tuned.

First we present the page without comment:

Author: Sel
Title: Light Me Up, Turn Me Grey
Genre: YA dystopian/fantasy
1st Page (232 words)


Hell starts on day one, they say; guilty until proven innocent, or until you break and bribe an official to release your name from the Book. You'll be nameless and poor but free and happy.
Everyone in our little society are here, cramped and sweaty and fussed like little robots, standing half a metre apart in the marketplace surrounded by concrete slabs, blue sky and rusty, broken walls. We almost deserve the strikes they give us, for being weak and imperfect.
The whistles in the air are as rhythmic and predictable as the moans we drive into this world. The soldiers give us a second of rest—a painless moment where our muscles relax, before a second, a third strike that makes us stiffen again. In between strikes, they shower us with salt water to keep the wounds alive. Think of grey, I tell myself, a calm, grey ocean blending in perfectly with pale skin and blood. Don't let the pain sear into your mind. Only my skin, yesyes.
The girl in front of me; she's wearing a transparent, blood drenched dress. But that is not the most interesting; she is silent even when the others bow and shudder away and scream their pretty heads off.
My eyes stay on her for the rest of the beating, so that the screams of pain fade to hums.   
The Purge-Captain coughs into the microphone.


What say you, readers of Paper Hangover? Did this first page intrigue you enough to read on? Please keep your criticisms constructive. Always be polite and considerate of the writer.
 

Michael's and Lauren's line by line edits and then our overall comments after the jump.


Thursday, November 24, 2011

Happy Thanksgiving!

Happy Turkey Day to our readers in the United States! Michael and I are taking this week off. We will be back next Thursday with more page critiques. If you would like to submit something from your own story for us to look at, you can do so here.

Have a great weekend, everyone!

Thursday, November 17, 2011

Writing 101: Page Critique - Emberchyld



Every Thursday the Writing 101 crew, Michael and Lauren, will critique a page from a novel. If you'd like your page critiqued, please fill out the Writing 101: Page Critique Form. Read the previous submission.

First we present the page without comment:


Author: Emberchyld
Title: The Desired
Genre: YA Paranormal
1st Page (242 words)


“You are so important, Sara. To me and to the world,” He whispered, as the sky above us flamed in a lightshow unlike any I’ve ever seen.

No one ever told me that my world would end in a medieval castle halfway around the world from my parents, my school, and my best friend.

No one ever told me that I’d have to choose between two people who I loved—and that my choice would probably mean life and death.

No one had told me that my life would be anything but normal, that the summer before my senior year would be anything more than a tan, a few great photographs, and a lot of good memories.

No one told me that I would be the one who had to save the world.

I wish they had. I would totally have slept in this morning.

Chapter 1
The summer before my eighteenth birthday was supposed to be quiet and normal. Well, about as normal as a summer can be when you’re shipped off to hang out on your grandparents’ farm in Europe while the rest of your classmates get to go to the shore or Philly or Florida. But, still, I wasn’t expecting anything special. Jog every morning, take a few photos for my blog, prep some of my college applications, drink lots of espressos at the local internet café.

Yeah, things never seem to turn out the way that you want.



What say you, readers of Paper Hangover? Did this first page intrigue you enough to read on? Please keep your criticisms constructive. Always be polite and considerate of the writer. Michael's and Lauren's line by line edits and then our overall comments, after the jump.

Thursday, November 10, 2011

Writing 101: Page Critique

Every Thursday the Writing 101 crew, Michael and Lauren, will critique a page from a novel. If you'd like your page critiqued, please fill out the Writing 101: Page Critique Form.

First we present the page without comment:


Author: Jenny Kaczorowski
Title: Rivers Underneath
Genre: YA Urban Fantasy
1st Page (245 words)

Emma watched a cluster of mourners gather around the fresh grave at the foot of the hilly cemetery, curling and uncurling her fingers into her palms. The black-clad figures clung to one another, finding comfort in knowing they didn’t mourn alone. Comfort Emma couldn’t share. Their shock and grief and anger pounded against her, even across the distance.

The wind shaped Emma’s dark hair into softly waving tendrils and she brushed it away with the back of her hand. She shifted her feet and the frozen dew clinging to the grass crackled under her.

Emma knew she should join the other mourners. She knew they expected her to share in their public display of sorrow.

But she couldn’t.

The slightest touch, the slightest betrayal of emotion and she would lose everything. Even a hug, meant to console, could send her spiraling out of control.

She remained frozen, a silent witness to their grief. She saw every detail in stunning clarity. The lurid green of the carpet covering the hole in the ground and the cold, dead coffin that held her best friend. The sky, the same colorless grey as her eyes, burned in her mind. Overwhelming sorrow surrounded her, but she refused to absorb any of it.

Her parents were worried. Not that she blamed them. She’d never handled loss well. She’d nearly self-destructed when Gabriel left four years earlier. And he’d only moved away.

Lily was dead.

Unbidden, an image rose before her eyes.

What say you, readers of Paper Hangover? Did this first page intrigue you enough to read on? Please keep your criticisms constructive. Always be polite and considerate of the writer.

Michael's and Lauren's red line edits and then our overall comments after the jump.


Thursday, November 3, 2011

Writing 101: Page Critique - Ciara

Every Thursday the Writing 101 crew, Michael and Lauren, will critique a page from a novel. If you'd like your page critiqued, please fill out the Writing 101: Page Critique Form.

Congratulations to Ciara for being our very first page critique. First we present the page without comment:

Author: Ciara
Title: Untitled
Genre: Contemporary YA
1st Page (273 words)


I’m pretty sure my sister had decided to become a pagan or a Baptist or something before she off’d herself so I don’t know why we were having a Catholic funeral. I don’t believe in hell and she didn’t either, obviously, but I wonder when I see all these sad puffy eyed faces how many of them believe she’s burning now. Everyone says with their wringing hands that it’s such a waste but how long would she have to stay miserable to satisfy them? Maybe they only remember how she used to be before she got lost.
Our house is empty now of all the sombre tourist mourners paying to gape at our tragedy with their thoughtful lasagnes and endless pots of coffee. The ghost of condolences and morbid curiosity is hanging in the air on their stale cigarette smoke. But we’re alone now in this house separated by the gulf of our secret thoughts. Every day since she died has been leading up to the funeral and now that it’s all over I don’t know what we’re supposed to do. I don’t know if I’m allowed to go back in our room. My stomach turns over remembering how I used to wail about the unfairness of having to share a room with someone who would try to make my bed while I was sleeping in it and wave my own dirty socks in my face as proof that I never pick up after myself. I’ve been sleeping on the sofa since she died and no one has told me to go to bed so I guess that means I’m not supposed to.


What say you, readers of Paper Hangover? Did this first page intrigue you enough to read on? Please keep your criticisms constructive. Always be polite and considerate of the writer.

Michael's and Lauren's red line edits and then our overall comments after the jump.

Thursday, October 27, 2011

Writing 101: Page Critiques

If you would like to have a page from your novel critiqued by the Writing 101 crew, we are now taking submissions. (See the form below.) Every Thursday Michael and Lauren will critique a page from a novel.


Genres We Accept

We accept any genre under the YA umbrella (mainstream, paranormal, fantasy, sci-fi, et al.).


What We Will Critique

We will critique first pages and anything else you need feedback on.

The all important first page is essential to get right...but so is the rest of you novel. It's not chopped liver.

We recognize that sometimes you may need targeted feedback on a scene that doesn't take place on the very first page of your novel. This is why we're opening up the flood gates and allowing you to submit a random page from your novel.


How Will It Work?

Along with your submission, you'll simply tell us that your page is not the first page of your novel and you'll describe to us what exactly are you looking for in your critique.

For instance, you may need feedback on your love scene, or you might need direction for your fight scene, or maybe there's a craft technique that you're not quite sure you understand and you need an outsider's eyes to make sure you're on the right track.

Whatever your issue is just let us know. We will focus our critique towards your needs, directly targeting the specific area where you feel you may need the most help.


More Info

A random number generator will choose which page(s) we will critique that week.

Each week we will post one or two submitted pages to the blog, including our notes.

Readers of Paper Hangover will be encouraged to offer their own constructive criticisms in the comment section.


Thursday, October 20, 2011

My Favorite Writing Resources

Confession time: I am an entirely self-taught writer. Aside from two required composition courses, I didn't study writing in college at all. I've never been to a writers conference and never paid for any classes or workshops. (How DO my fellow starving artist types afford them, I always wonder?) But I have spent a lot of time hunting down every morsel of free advice and instruction one can find on the Interwebs. Here are my favorites.


Holly Lisle's articles, formerly known as Forward Motion: This was my writing school. I can't even begin to list the skills I honed by reading through every piece of advice Holly put on her site, since so much of it has just become my own writing habit. The layout of her site has changed, and I don't think it's as easy to navigate as it once was, unfortunately. But click through those links down the right side and I promise you'll find some useful stuff.


Vision for Writers: I believe this started as a another project of Holly's, but the vast majority of the content is from other contributors. Click on the tab for "Back Issues," follow the links from there, and find hundreds of quality articles pertaining to everything Writing 101 (and 201, and 301...). You're welcome. ;)


Muse Online Writers Conference: My timing's pretty lousy here, since the 2011 conference just ended. But you can still register for next year!

Anyway... for those of you who are (rightfully) wary about any ZOMG FREE stuff for writers online, let me assure you, Muse is totally legitimate. It really is free, you really do get access to all kinds of cool workshops, and you really do get to connect with industry professionals. Last year I had a pitch session with an agent from Andrea Brown Literary Agency (!) and she requested a partial (!!). Turns out my book wasn't for her but, you know, it was exciting there for a while.

Muse is also the reason I have a blog (which I never update) and a twitter (...ditto), because it was there I learned the importance of social networking for writers. Okay, so, the information hasn't fully sunk in yet. Blame me, not the conference. Check it out!


Absolute Write, specifically the Share Your Work forum, specifically Query Letter Hell: I can't link you directly to the latter two because they're password protected for members only, but if you're not a member of AW, JOIN IT if only so you have access to the fantabulousness that is SYW. You know how I was saying before about not having the money to spare on pricey conferences and workshops where I could, say, get my query letter worked on? AW's subforum dedicated to query critiquing, Query Letter Hell, is all I needed. As the word "Hell" suggests, it can be pretty brutal. But if you want to transform your query from textbook to standout, I suggest you suck it up and go anyway. Less intense are the other parts of Share Your Work, where you can post a few pages (your opening pages, perhaps?) or a chapter for critique.

Now, big disclaimer: they kinda don't want you joining AW just so you can get your query fixed up and then be on your way. You need at least 50 posts under your belt before you can post in SYW. So check out the rest of the forum, too! They have an area for just about every writing issue you can think of, as well as genre-specific forums and threads for hundreds of agencies and publishing houses. In fact, the reason I initially joined was so I could go to a certain agency thread and cry WHY HASN'T THIS AGENT GIVEN ME A RESPONSE ON MY FULL YET? (I didn't get a response for several more months, and it was a no. But it sure was nice to have moral support before and after.)

Oh, and another shout-out: AW is where I first saw the announcement looking for contributors for a blog about YA writing. Perhaps you've heard of it...?


Am I missing any of your favorite sites for writers? (Besides Paper Hangover, of course. Ba-dum-bum.) Leave a comment telling us about it!

Thursday, October 6, 2011

Writing 101: Fight Scenes

Today's post is a shorty but I hope someone finds it useful! At some point in your writing career, it's not unlikely you will be faced with the task of writing a fight scene. It might be a fist fight, a spar, or even a battle scene (especially if you're writing fantasy). Here are three things to keep in mind when you write:

1. Keep it short. I mean this both in the sense of how much page space it takes in your book, as well as how long it's lasting in the "real world." All too often I see sword fights and battle scenes that drag on and on and on... but in reality, most fights are short. I suspect this misconception comes from TV and movies, since in those cases they have to be long enough for the audience to absorb. But people obviously don't fight for fun (except in sports!) or to be flashy. They're fighting either to hurt/kill someone or to defend themselves, so they're going to be efficient.

2. Keep the plot going throughout. Oh, fantasy novels, how bad you are at following this rule! While keeping in mind that someone in a fight doesn't have a lot of time for introspection (see previous point), you do want it to be clear to the reader that the existing conflicts are still at play. You know the old adage that every word in your book should move the story forward? It's just as true for fight scenes.

3. Do some research. Probably not getting in a fight of your own, though I suppose it depends on how dedicated you are to the craft... anyway. Read first-hand accounts of the type of fight you're writing about. If you're aiming for a particular style, such as a martial art, watch videos on YouTube. You'll want to learn the facts, since unless you have personal experience, your imagination will probably mislead you. The one that always bugs me is writers describing swords as being really heavy. Swords are not that heavy! Don't alienate us pedants with those kinds of details. ;)

And that's it for now. You know, in my everyday life I'm a pacifist, but good fiction turns me downright bloodthirsty. Bring on the violence!

Thursday, September 29, 2011

Writing 101: How To Write a Banned Book

In honor of Banned Books week, this Writing 101 post is a joint effort from both Michael and Lauren. We’ve put together some fun tips to help you write a banned book. So, fasten your seat belts, make sure your seat is in the upright position and place your tongue firmly in your cheek. It’s going down.





1. The material was considered to be "sexually explicit".

You ever heard the phrase sex sells? Well, sex also gets your book banned. The number one thing to include in your potentially banned book is “sexually explicit material”. That's not as vague a term as it sounds.


We all know that sex doesn't happen in real life. Authors make it up. It’s common knowledge that the stork brought us all here...unless you believe in other alternative theories...



There's no reason to ever include sexually explicit material in a book unless you want your book banned.


Dear author, if you want to get your book banned by the powers that be, you can’t be afraid to get down in dirty in your fiction. The key here is details, details, details. You want to include every bump and every grind. The act should go on for pages, maybe even the entire book. Go crazy. Then go crazier!


And while you’re sexing it up, consider giving readers a double wammy and hit'em with some homosexuality.




Caution: Never include anything homophobic or anti-gay because your book will never attain banned books status. We checked. (“We” being highly skilled journalists and thorough investigators of such things.)




2. The material contained "offensive language".


Have your main character and people around them swear a great deal. Real teenagers are not exposed to such depravity in their day to day lives, so the appearance of such in fiction is bound to exert a bad influence on them. Soon they will be swearing with abandon and parents nationwide will cry for the censorship of your work.


But wait, it gets better. As you well know by now, including sexual violence in your book is a surefire way to raise hackles. But if you want to really guarantee bannination, there’s one more step you can take: give that violence a name. 

Oh, yes, you know what I’m talking about. The r-word. Alright, sometimes teens get assaulted--but they definitely shouldn’t know the proper name for it! That’s just vile. Someone might read a book, stumble across that dangerous and disgusting r-word, and decide they want to try it out for themselves. Worse still, reading a book like Speak by Laurie Halse Anderson might encourage teens to, well, speak up for themselves about their own experiences. Make teens rock the boat, get your book banned. Easy.




3. The materials was "unsuited to any age group".

Your potentially banned book should be unsuited to any age group. But how exactly do you write a book that’s unsuitable for any age group? Very easy. If your book should never have been written in the first place, you’re on the right track. If that's what you have in your sock drawer, polish up that story now and get it into the first library on your block. They will be sure to ban your book for its unsuitableness.


If you haven’t written something like this yet, here’s how you do it: first you must use each and every one of the the tips in this award winning article. But you must go even further than that. You must offend your readers with every chapter, every paragraph, every sentence, every word. Shoot for a masterpiece that is entirely unreadable by any one.




4. The material was written in 1995.


According to the ALA's chart, 1995 was the year that most books were challenged/banned since they’ve been keeping track of such vital information.


Here’s what you need to do, Biff. Wait for Doc and Marty to go rescue Jennifer. Then steal the DeLorean! Make like a tree and get your ban worthy book to 1995! Tell your younger self about how crappy the future is because of climate change and that he/you should invest in Apple products.


Wait. I mean, give your younger self the banned book you’ve already written and tell him to publish it as the eBook. He’s going to say that no one reads eBooks to which you’ll respond, “Do it, Butthead! I’m from the freakin’ future.”


Hopefully, when you come Back to the Future you’ll be able to look back on your historic banned book that, by its very existence, has created an alternate reality where you’re the king of like banned books or whatever. You’ll also be married to Lorraine and have shot and murdered George McFly, and climate change will still be a reality. At least, you invested in Apple!

“Last week I was in my other, other Benz.”


5. The material contained “violence”.


Teens live really peaceful lives and are unfamiliar with the concept of violence, except for what they see on the news, TV and movies, video games, at home, at school, and on the street. The point is, it’s important to shelter them from it in fiction. Adults don’t want them to get any ideas or, god forbid, see their personal experiences reflected in what they read. Wait, I mean, what personal experiences? I think we’ve established that real teens are not exposed to violence.


So if you open that dangerous door, dear author, you are well on your way to angering adults and getting challenged. Of special note: hate crimes, sexual assault, and domestic abuse. Those are the kinds of violence society really wants to sweep under the rug.




6. The material upset governments.


Governments are actually the only entities who can ban and have banned books completely from society. They can enforce a ban legally through the court system and can punish infractors with penalties.


The only reason this item isn’t number one is because different bodies of government vary on what criteria causes a book to be banned. Usually a government will resort to censorship when there are political, religious or moral issues with the written material.


Now normally, you're a meek, respectful, and polite author. But that attitude will not get you a banned book. Your job is to upset, anger and be a down right meany-pants. You must vilify your political opposition. Your religious arguments should be one-sided and inconsiderate of the majority’s belief system. Also, don’t forget to demean the opposite sex and include other immoralistic values. Speak your dark, infested mind.


There is no one way to upset governments. So combine all of our advice in one giant smorgasbord of ban worthy material.




7. The material upset parents.


Parents always know what’s best for their children. They are never wrong under any circumstance. And children are incapable of thinking for themselves. They don’t know any better. They’ll read any old thing you put in front of them and will likely suffer a lifetime of traumatization when exposed to certain fiction.


This is where you come in dear author. You must offend these parents if you want your book banned. Parents must disagree with the value of your book in every way. You must make them take umbrage with your fiction so strongly that they have no choice but to do what's right for the entire first world and force their opinions on the rest of society, who will no doubt listen and agree.


We are all aware that there is never a choice in which books to read and which ones to simply not read. We're all forced to read every single book that has ever been written, so banning books is a great way to protect us from like the Big Bad Wolf and stuff. Not only does banning books free us of the tedious nature of making a choice for ourselves, it also scares authors away from writing great stories...I mean, inappropriate material. As a society, we’ll force authors to churn out tame fiction for the masses that never challenges our lazy minds or provokes critical thought.


Deep topics in books aren’t open for discussion and shouldn’t be. Engaging in analytical discourse is a pointless endeavor. Banning is always the answer to everything. It is not a knee jerk reaction at all. Who cares if no one's read a word of your book yet to know for sure if it's actually as bad as we think it is? If it merely sounds like it's harmful to our children--Banned! Parents are your saviors!

“I’ll tell you where you can find fantastic beasts. Not in this household!”






8. The material upset schools and libraries.


Schools and Libraries have challenged more books than any other institution between 1990 and 2010. Aren't our children lucky to have such filters?


As we’ve seen from item number 7 above, parents are very capable of deciding what's appropriate for their own children and for everyone else. However, why should schools and libraries let parents do all that hard work?


Shouldn’t parents instead rely on another entity that can make that choice? You know, the same way parents remove the freedom of choice from their children...and everyone else.


In all reality, parents don’t really know any better than their children. They’ll probably just allow their kids to read any old thing. But even if they are awesome filters for their own households, they may not catch everything. They need schools and libraries to back them up or to do the job entirely.

Plus, what libraries and schools absolutely don’t need more of is books. They’ already full of them. You can help them out by writing a book that they will surely ban. It makes total sense.


Everything you applied to parents in the above item, you must apply it to schools and libraries as well.




Topics to Avoid When Writing a Banned Book


Don’t worry yourself writing about serious topics such as abortion, anti-ethnicity, racism, or as mentioned above, homophobia, which doesn’t even make it onto any lists at all. Not that many people care strongly enough about those topics to ban them from books. People are pretty much chill on those.


Also don't try to offend Community Groups and Prisons. They are both the least likely groups to ban your book. And one is instead more prone to shanking. The other we can’t can’t even tell you about because we’ve never been to prison. But we’ve heard stories of sexually explicit violence that’s unsuited for any age group and would especially upset any parent, school or library in the year of 1995.





But Why Write a Banned Book?


Simple! You ever noticed how much publicity those things get? Word of mouth is the best way to get your book flying off the shelves, and no news spreads faster than outrage. First comes the outrage from parents, schools, and libraries at your audacity to write such a book. Then comes the outrage from “free thinkers” who don’t think any books should be banned. Before you know it, your name will end up on the news and in lists all over the Internet. And just like J.K. Rowling and Stephenie Meyer, you will be rolling in the dough.


Another reason some people might put forth is that banned books are often so honest, raw, delightful, and painful that they make everyone sit up and take notice for good or bad. And we hear some people like to write honest books. But it’s also okay if you’re just itching to write a scene with some blood and guts flying. As we have thoroughly demonstrated by now, it’s not the thought that counts, it’s the banning!

Thursday, September 1, 2011

How to Make Your Stories Pass the Bechdel Test

I'm on vacation this week! Not enough time to whip up any new material, so I've queued up this post I wrote a while back for my own blog. I'm a big advocate for strong female characters, and although there are a lot more of them in YA than in most other genres, I still hope this subject might be useful or interesting to some. See you in a couple weeks!

What is the Bechdel Test?

The Bechdel Test is named after Alison Bechdel, the creator of the comic strip Dykes to Watch Out For. In one of the strips, a character says she will only go to see a movie if it meets the following three qualifications:

1. There are at least two female characters
2. who talk to each other about
3. something other than a man.

Since its inception, the Bechdel Test has become popular in some circles as a quick way to measure the presence of female characters in a story -- movie, book, television show, and so on.


What the Bechdel Test means

Outside of certain genres (mostly targeted at women), works that pass the Bechdel Test are rare. If there are few or no important female characters in a story, and if what female characters do occur are only concerned with men, it sends the message that women's lives revolve around men. Instead of having their own interests, lives, and concerns, they exist in the story to provide a backdrop for the male characters.

If you are a woman, consider how often your own life "passes" the Bechdel Test. If you are a man, let me assure you, women do often talk to each other about things besides men! And yet, fiction rarely reflects this plain and simple reality.


Why it matters

Boys grow up reading stories in which they have adventures. Girls grow up reading stories in which they help boys have adventures. Sound fair to you?

Yes, there are exceptions. But as a general trend, the default hero for a story is male. (And white, but that's a whole 'nother kettle of fish.) The Bechdel Test matters because girls deserve to see themselves having their own stories, just as much as boys do.


What the Bechdel Test does not mean

A story that fails the Bechdel Test is not necessarily bad. Countless pieces of classic, high-quality, and entertaining literature fail the Bechdel Test. While we can use the test as a jumping-off point to examine the treatment of female characters past and present, the test is not, in itself, a measure of how much a story should be valued.

A story that fails the Bechdel Test is not necessarily sexist. In theory, a story can support and even help to further ideals of gender equality while failing the test.

A story that passes the Bechdel Test is not necessarily good and does not necessarily promote gender equality. Again, it's only a jumping-off point. There are other factors to consider in each individual story.

Two female characters talking about a man is not a bad thing.
Not by any means. The purpose of the test isn't to dismiss men as a valid subject of conversation, but to point out that there are many, many other things for women to be concerned about.


Mitigating circumstances

Some stories are constructed in such a way that makes it difficult or impossible for them to pass the test -- in particular, stories with a single first person, or limited third person, male narrator. In these cases, I like to consider whether the story has "implied" Bechdel Test passing: are there realistic female characters, and do they have relationships with other women?

In some stories, the focus is entirely on the opposite sex, for both male and female characters. In many romance novels, for instance, women never talk about anything besides men -- but the men never talk about anything besides women, either. This drives home the point above that two women talking about a man isn't a bad thing. In these types of stories, however, there is more equality that what you would usually see.

There is also some disagreement on what sorts of conversations pass the test. For example, if two female characters are discussing a male villain in a non-romantic/non-sexual way, does this count as a pass? (I'm inclined to say yes, but it depends on the story.)

Does the conversation need to consist of women only, or if women address each other in a mixed group, does it pass? On one hand, if women are never alone with each other, it can send the message that men must at least be present for a conversation to hold weight. But on the other hand, sometimes only the women can be the primary contributors to a mixed-group conversation, which sends a positive message. To use an example from one of my own stories, I wrote a scene in which two female characters argued with each other about ghosts -- while their two male companions didn't dare butt in. I consider scenes like this to be a pass.


How can you apply this to your own stories?

If you're curious, think about whatever project you're working on now, and run it through the Bechdel Test. Did it pass? It's a good indicator your story contains female characters in important roles.

But suppose you have a story that doesn't pass, and want to examine the reason why. In many cases, I think the problem of Bechdel Test failure can be solved by adding more female characters. Simple as that. Males with speaking roles vastly outnumber females in fiction.

Look at some of the characters in your story, and ask yourself if you could switch their genders. I know it sounds radical, and I'm not necessarily recommending you go through with it, but if the task seems outright impossible then it could be a sign that your female characters are more caricatures than they are people. Why can't your cynical, scarred, badass warrior be a chick?

What if you have a lot of female characters, and your story still doesn't pass the Bechdel Test? Uh-oh. Sounds like you've got a flock of girls whose lives revolve around a boy. The solution here is basic character development -- give them backstories, give them hobbies, give them relationships with each other.

That's another thing. Don't be afraid to have your female characters be friends with other women -- or their sisters, or their moms, and so forth. I often encounter the attitude that girls who only have guy friends are cooler than girls who are friends with girls. It's inherently sexist to suggest that guys are more worthy of friendship that girls. Real women have relationships with each other. Even if they hang out with only guys, they still have relatives, coworkers, and classmates to contend with.


"But why do I have to make my story pass the Bechdel Test? Why can't I just write what I feel like?"

Actually, as it turns out... you can write whatever you want. :) Nobody's going to twist your arm to get you to include more strong female characters. But... you might consider why you'd need your arm twisted to begin with.